The porpoise may well be our only hope. The octopus, by contrast, may well be our greatest enemy.
It is critical to distinguish between these two — one savior, the other archnemesis; one shining day, the other blackest night; one yang, the other yin, except in this case there’s no yang in the yin and no yin in the yang. But anyways.
It’s a well-known fact that an octopus can camouflage itself so that it looks like rocks or other underwater features of submarine landscape. The secret behind their color capability is a special skin cell called a chromatophore. Each chromatophore consists of three bags of pigment and by squeezing or expanding these bags, octopuses can change the color displayed by each cell, allowing millions of subtle combinations. Sneaky little menaces.
So if you thought they are always the same color then you obviously don’t know the first thing about octopuses.
How would you sum up an octopus in three words?
Vicious, vicious killers.
How about nine words?
Vicious, vicious killers who know exactly what they’re doing.
Can’t legal means be brought to bear?
Unfortunately, no. Octopuses, as they well know, are technically outside the reach of our laws and judicial systems.
What can I do?
It’s natural, after learning about what octopuses are really all about, to want to help in the effort to defend against them, but I’m afraid that it may already be too late. Despite this, there are some things we can do, and the valiant power of the human spirit (and the American Spirit!) are things that give us hope even in these times of woe. Here are some ideas, drawn from the playbook of real-life:
01. Spread the word.
02. Put up signs in your neighborhood explaining what’s wrong and how we’ve been misled by our own government (it’s not unpatriotic to criticize the government — what’s unpatriotic is not to care). Here are some slogans you can use for signs:
“The octopus is upon us!”
“If you were an octopus, where would you hide? In the den of Satan!”
“If squishy, squishable bodies are any indication of goodness, then octopuses must be saints! But in fact it’s the opposite — they’re the devil!”
“Don’t leave your baby with an octopus.” (because it might eat the baby)
03. Be on the lookout for an octopus coming to get you — and if it comes to get you, give it “a little grief.”
04. Write to your member of Congress about the be-tentacled menace… but DON’T give away the game by showing that you know the real, honest truth. They’re all in on it.
05. Arm yourself with sea-salt, often called “Octopus’s-Bane.”
06. Use common sense. I call this the “N.T.O. rule”: Never Trust an Octopus, like with your valuables, purse, power tools, etc. It is liable to eat ANYTHING including a HUMAN BEING.
07. Again, use common sense. Would you leave your son or daughter with a known killer? No? Then why would you leave him/her with a known octopus?!
I think it’s obvious by now that the Octopus Question has no solution, only more questions. But it’s still the case that octopuses are as dangerous as terrorists in most U.S. cities, and in many, twice as dangerous (twice as many limbs to use for evil purposes). But somehow, even though the information is right in front of us, most of our countrymen prefer to snuggle with their wives and kids and thus ignore the ominous threat that looms before us as though it wasn’t even there at all. Classic.
Ignorance may be bliss but it is also a grave problem because knowledge is power, and with power comes responsibility. Responsibility to act. Responsibility to fight with courage and valor. Responsibility to fellow man. An octopus has eight tentacles and knows it how to use them. So, too, must we know how to use the tools that God has given us: our friendships and relationships; our brains and skills; our ability to create technologies that will stand the test of time. This fight will not be easy, nor will it be waged on the cheap. But it must be fought, and, indeed, won. The Octopus is not the Hydra: cut off its head and two more will not appear. It is merely a question of whether we can marshal our resources and act with sufficient speed. It’s true, we are down — but not out.
Are we our brother’s keeper? Only time will tell.
haha I’m definitely for the dolphins! down with eight legs! up with fins :)
I couldn’t help laughing as I read this one. The odd thing is, It’s august first. This article was posted on august 2′d. Little carried away with the delorean, Huh, Adam? I love this. :D I’m emailing this to my Mom. :D
Looks like someone got a ride in the TARDIS!
Ho, Octopi! Have at thee!
:D :D I was just thinking: it has been a horrible day, thank God it’s Monday, Adam should be updating the blog.. And here is the smile my face needed!!
I don’t have to worry about octopuses since I live (literally) a thousand miles from the tide. I will take your warnings into account in case I see one one day. Still, I swam once with a shark and it didn’t hurt me at all, so I am against any prejudice haha
The only octopus I hate is Paul. The one that predicted that Argentina would lose the match against Germany in the world cup. I’m still hurt for that
haha Thank you so much for saving my day!
Lots of love
unrelated comment: i`m just so sorry 4 u, because u don`t get 2 “woo” (don`t like that word…) a girl. they all swoon 4 u. it will b hard 2 find the right 1, i think. maybe u should move someplace they wont know ur face. :-) I admire ur talent so much. the end.
I’d like to be, under the sea in a octopuses with you. lol
I’d like to be, under the sea in a octopuses garden with you. lol
I feel very unsafe now.
What evil is this that I haven’t been made aware of the threat octopi pose on us before? I think we’re all being deceived; made to think we’re actually safe from such a horrible creature as is this monster with eight legs and camouflage powers that we call the octopus. It’s a CONSPIRACY, man, plain and simple. Don’t believe it.
Either way, thanks for the warning, Adam. I’ll be right back- running out to the store to buy more sea salt.. and dolphins.
hahaha Loooove it!! :D I can always count on your blog posts to brighten my day. Thank you. :)
Haha! :) Vary interesting. I Love it. Love you Adam! :)
This made my day. Thank you for the lols.
… I’m guessing you don’t like octopi very much. xD
This certainly made my week, that’s for sure.
Epically written, as per usual. You’re right when you say “it’s not unpatriotic to criticize the government — what’s unpatriotic is not to care.” Thanks for bringing that up.
And…keep writing.
This is one of your best blog entries yet! It had me laughing and smiling the whole time. :)
I’m 100% for the dolphins and now I definitely don’t trust octopuses. Oh, and your concert in Austin, Texas was AWESOME!!
Adam,
I, too, shall help you in your efforts. If you suddenly come down with a disease, making you unable to keep creating music (*cry*) you should become a lawyer. You have pled your case, and you have begun to win over your delightful fan-base. But hopefully, you won’t get such a disease, as I would die from sorrow, and I would not be able to help you in your superhero acts of justice. But, for now, keep singing, making music, writing, and being Adam. ‘Cause that’s what I love about you. Well, I love everything about you, but you know what I mean.
Love forever,
Jem
MAYBE THE OCTOPUS IS A DESCENDANT OF THE KRACKEN
I like dolphins. Haven’t met an octopus yet, so not really sure how villainous they truly are. But I’ll take your word for it, Adam! :D
lol should it be “Dolphin’s Garden” instead of “Octopus’s Garden” then?
WHY IS THERE NO ANONYMOUS OCTOPUS TIPLINE???
Help us Adam!
Oh, Adam. Your blogs are so wonderful. LOL.
I’ll bet you totally mastered that high school speech and debate class. :)
I guess you have me convinced. I’ve always loved dolphins, though. So don’t think I’m saying I love them just because you do. I bet I liked them first. ;p
check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3CJIKKSUpg
Vampyroteuthis
No my friend. Unfortunately, dolphins alone cannot handle the vileness of our eight armed nemesis. WE MUST SUMMON THE NARWHAL!!!
After reading all your blog pots I finally noticed the Reply Box. Lol.
Adam I love your blog posts! How do you think of these things?
I’ve been having a pretty bad day..thank you for cheering me up.
Love you, Adam!
…”and with power comes responsibility.” Classic. I enjoyed your Austin, Texas concert way too much! As a shy, introvert myself, it’s quite inspiring to see you (one of my kind) on stage singing your heart out for us. I admire your bravery! Thank you for the night of my life!
haha! What a perfect timing for this post!
I went to your favorite place today ;) well, maybe not your favorite, but I know you like the youtube video! The Georgia Aquarium! I rediscovered my love of dolphins… something about them makes me happy… Just like your music ;)
I’m sure the bemused expression on my face while I read this was hysterical. XD
Did you get bit by an octopus or something? Why the sudden octopus hate? I think they’re awesome creatures haha.
Keep on writing, Adam! And keep on glorifying God through your music. I know your song for Music Monday this week was Galaxies. That song really touched me. It clearly spells out your belief in Christ. I’ve been struggling with living out loud for Him, especially when I’m talking to my best friend, but if you can do it in front of millions, I can do it in front of her. =)
Blessings,
Elisabeth
LOL, I would love to know how your brain works. Scarier than an octopus are jellyfish the size of platters (see Jersey Shore).
But what does that make Mark Hoppus then? Surely there has to be at least one exception to the rule, be it a half-human big chinned rock star exception! HE COMES IN PEACE, ADAAAAAAAAM.
Aha! I KNEW IT!!!
*Yells over shoulder*
MA! GET THAT OCTOPUS OUT OF OUR HOUSE AND BRING IN THE DOLPHIN! NOOOOAO! MY VALUABLE PIECE OF BARK!! IT ATE IT!!
few, i was getting scared of that thing.
Hahahahahaha glug…glut….squish. I almost inked myself reading this!!! I mean…well you know what I mean…funny stuff…but no one will believe you…..
MUAHAHAHAHA
The Rise of the Octopi is rapidly approaching!! Take heed!!!
Viciously, viciously killing,
Octopus-Prime
Hahahahahaha glug…glug….squish. I almost inked myself reading this!!! I mean…well you know what I mean…funny stuff…but no one will believe you…..
MUAHAHAHAHA
The Rise of the Octopi is rapidly approaching!! Take heed!!!
Viciously, viciously killing,
Octopus-Prime
Dear Adam,
I had to stifle the peals of laughter that were sure to come from reading this post whilst my family was in the room (I don’t wan’t to appear too insane in front of them), but I must say, this is one of the funniest posts you have ever written! I must admit, I’m pretty much terrified of octopi and you’ve now added fuel to my paranoia, but at least you’re informing the rest of the masses about this crippling problem. Now if only you could expose sharks for what they are… Anyway, absolutely wonderful post, I really enjoyed it! It seems you’re beginning to bounce back and become your happy, bubbly self again. Thanks for this day-making post, I really needed something to break up the monotony of my summer break, and this was it! God bless you, and I will be praying for you.
Love,
Madeline
@Elisabeth: I know what you mean! I have a friend who is not a Christian, and I’m always so nervous to talk to her about Him. But, you’re right, if Adam can live out loud for God in front of many, I should be able to do so for her. :)
What? :o
So this is how the rest of the world view me, an octopus? Strange. Would it change your mind if I told you that I was an 8-inch octopus that loves you alot and would only attack if provoked? :D
If not, well….okay.
Adam, I’m jealous of your blog. Hilarious and GENIUS. That’s what this is.
Thanks for the laughs (and the cautions), and I’ll be sure to be more careful round my neighbors from now on. (My neighbors happen to be octopuses.)
God bless (and protect you from those eight-legged buggers),
- Joel
Haha you’re amazing and always make my day :) and here I thought I was the only one aware of the dangers of octopi
Octopus: Totally evil
Dolphin: Totally awesome
This is the best comparison chart I’ve ever seen.
I smell an analogy.
Or maybe that’s just the octopus.
You are hilarious :)
I love it.
Im for dolphins all the way!!
<3
Lord i beg of you please help this mentally insane albeit awesome person come to his senses. ;] i laughed through this whole thing adam, keep up the uber amazincrazin sweetliness!!!!!!!
^-^
Hi Adam! I became one of your newest fans this June. I know, i know. You’re thinking what rock has this person been living under?:)
It is a blessing I discovered your music, as I rarely listen to the radio or am on the computer. It all began hearing ‘Fireflies’ on a t.v. talent show summer 2010. As the year came to a close I had heard ‘Fireflies’ several more times. Each time the song put a smile on my face, a spring in my step; it was different. I was drawn to it. Fast forward to June 2011 when I purchased ‘Ocean Eyes’! I have a large music collection and this album was definately different than anything
I had heard before.
Here I was listening to each song and reading inside the cover, when I found written at the bottom “All Praise & Glory to Jesus Christ, to whom I owe everything”! “He is a Christian!” I said. I was elated! I had to find out more about you. I did some research on the computer, and I had alot of catching up to do!
I understood the daydreams, insomnia, being shy and expressing this through your music. It all came together. I felt such a connection to you, as i am a fellow introvert, christian, optimistic, young at heart. I will have you know smores are my favorite poptart too!:) I prefer small family gatherings to larger ones; not really a party girl, and you are not alone, I get rather flustered and try not to smile nervously around handsome men. I feel like an idiot!:(
What put a cherry on the sundae was in 2 weeks ‘All Things Bright and Beautiful’ was to be released in stores! Of course I snatched it right up, screaming quietly to myself!:) Adam, I love both albums and have listened to either one of them just about everyday. They have a place on my nightstand, leaving my other albums to collect dust on the shelf.:) To be continued……………..
P.S. I know you relish the Choco Taco (everytime I see it in the store it reminds me fo you).:) If you can find Edwards Singles turtle brownie or fudge brownie icecream sundae in the store, give it a try. Icecream on a brownie, that can be prepared in a minute; one of my favorites! Yummy!
You are HILARIOUS!!!! I loved this!!! It was so funny! And I agree that Dolphins are amazing… But don’t octopus have a brain in each of their tentacles? I’m just wondering.. Anyone one know please tell me. :)
I don’t think their that scary, but their not cute like a dolphin at all… So dolphins always win in my heart :) I always love it when you enter an entry like this, it’s just so much fun to read and to laugh with (cuz laughing at it would be mean..?) And I also like the picture at the end… Priceless!!
Oh… Octopus eat their own kind too… so that makes them carnivore. Only makes them scarier!!
Well thank you for sharing Adam Young :) Love you! You put a smile on my smile *(>.<)*
Whenever I think of dolphins, I think of finding nemo, “I’m a dolphin let me do a flip for ya!”
And maybe after shark week this week, discovery will spend a week warning of the dangers of octopusses(it is also evil because noboddy knows how to spell the plural of octopus). I am sending an e-mail with that suggestion right now….
I was laughing the whole time I read this. Oh, Adam. I tried reciting this blog while breathing helium but I coundn’t stop laughing to finish one sentence.
(\ /)
(=^_^=)
( )
(“) (“)
SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! adam where dod you come up with this stuff!?!? if only i had a brain like yours!!!
You know… I’m guessing this post is some sort of reference to pop culture that I have no idea about. It was hilarious, of course, and a great writing (as always), but left me wondering (and now that I think of it, that was probably your intent).
I don’t really expect you to read this, but just wanted to let you know I loved the new album- Plant Life was my favorite- and your blog always makes my day a little better… So thanks for that :)
Keep writing and watch out for octopi! (hehe)
My god. You’re perfect. And hilarious. Why can’t more guys be like you?!<3
Your ability to make a blog about fighting octopi serious to the point I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or to be filled with a feeling of determination and anger against octopi is… hilarious.
Rest up, have fun next week on your world tour – and don’t forget to take your sea salt with you wherever you go.
We’re on to you Young. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.
Regards,
An Evil Octopus
@Madeline
Best wishes to you in your endeavor! I shall pray for you and your friend. =)
Wut.
Oh well. I don’t think that was supposed to be understandable anyway. But I still loved it.
Long live the porpoise!
:) hehehe. i want to see what goes on in your head.
I’m going to make all the posters and start a anti-octopi movement once school starts up again!
Totally random and it makes me laugh :) You’re such a nerdy dork who just might have a little to much time on his hands. But it’s really sweet :)
In grade 4 I did a project about blue ringed octopuses. Actually maybe it was a blue spotted stingray. Stingrays are pretty dangerous too on account of their barby tail of death. I almost jumped on a stingray once.
Long live the dolphins. Dolphins are kind of like – but to a lesser degree – unicorns in that whenever you mention one, the sentence becomes instantly magical.
Dearest Adam, I am pleased to inform you that you have in fact made my day. Now there are two ways to look at that phrase considering it is 3am. Either that you have made the next day before it ever began, or reading this post has made a long 24 hour period worth it. Either way you should be quite flattered and I would easily excuse you if your cheeks turned a healthy pink. I have decided to engage in the movement and valiantly fight to raise awareness for this cause. The cause of course being “the save the children and adults of America from being too naive to realize that octopi kill foundation” aka, “tstcaaoafbtntrtokf” I took the liberty of naming it myself, and not to brag, but I think it is quite clever. Don’t you? Well I must retire so that I may be energized in taking on such a valiant deed. If you wish to engage in the movement, find some way to contact me and maybe you’ll even get something out of it. Like a “tstcaaoafbtntrtokf” t shirt. Or maybe an assorted package of silly bands. But then again, those are so last year. So maybe you’ll just end up with a lollipop and a grin on your face. That’s always satisfying. Goodnight adam. Love, Claire.:)
goof ball! Octopuses are awesome! You gonna hate me now?
Anyway,cool story. Glad to see you’re back to writing witty sarcastic blog entries rather than woeful love lorn ones. YOU’RE HEALING(I hope)
watch out for octopus ninjas! They can throw chinese stars better than human ones!
-Love Lady Airplane
i wish every day was monday! thanks for sharing your sense of humor, adam!
Hmm, I can sense a good B movie here……
By the way, I used to want to be a dolphin trainer when I was little. I told this to a friend of mine and he said he wanted to be a dolphin until someone told him it wasn’t possible. That was the cutest thing I’d ever heard and this post, again, made me think of him.
This is really awesome and funny. Thank you Adam for making me laugh. :D
You always make my day adam!
Thanks for warning me! I will watch out… I can feel they are slowly taking over the world…
You won’t get me, octopus!
Fortunately there’s no octopus around here :D
tnx Adam , so funny ;))
Ha! my little brother might disagree with that. He adores these strange and eerie octopi and is actually having an octopus themed birthday party next week. I wouldn’t be surprised if we all died from the evilness. ;)
This mean war, Young!
I have to agree with Dellie. This made my day,
my mom: “What are you reading?”
me: “A blog.”
my mom: “About what?”
me: “OCTOPI. WE MUST FIGHT!!!!!!!!”
my mom: “Alright, you’re weird.”
@Elisabeth I really appreciate that! I’ll be praying for you and your friend as well. May we both have success! :)
Not to be the gramamar Nazi, but it’s octopi (perhaps worse than octopuses!). (:
Also, I already have a deep seated fear of giant squid. I’m adding octopi to the list. They are obviously working together against dolphins and humans.
Adam, you’re great. Love what you said about our God-given gifts.
Keep it up!
Was that Octopus in your house? OH MY GIDDY GOD’S PAJAMAS! We have to do something about these vicious creatures!!! WE MUST FIGHT!!!!! TWO LEGS GOOD! EIGHT LEGS BAD!!!
On the other hand, at least it wasn’t a Kracken.
i choose to be a dolphin, well i am a dolphin .. :p
-_- and I thought you wrote most of that.
Flipper, Flipper, Faster than lightning….
I am simply amazed at your fine ability to squeeze a Godly lesson into a post about the evil of Octopuses, and make it enjoyable. Impressive :) Keep up the great work; your writing is captivating!
lol! That chart killed me! c: That lasted paragraph really tied it all together. Knowledge is power, but only to a certain extent. It’s good to know that mankind is not in control, because we don’t know everything and therefore we are not all powerful. I thank GOD that he is all knowing and that he is in control, and can save us from killer a octopus! Best of luck on your international touring! I’ve been listening to “All Things Bright and Beautiful” non-stop! You have such a vivid imagination- never let that die-ever! This world needs for creativity, and I don’t know if you pull your songs out of a top hat, but they all seem so magical. c:
Thanks for the warning!
Mmm… I definetly will be take your words into account and be on guard..
Still, I’m against any prejudice so.. I don’t think you should generalize against all octopuses.. Who knows? Maybe there’s one or two out there that ain’t that evil.. It’s possible.. right?
God bless you!!
All my love.. Paola.
P.S. Like most people I don’t really like mondays, however I found myself waiting for them with excitement.. Whose to blame? Adam Young.. You update your blog every monday so..
Anyway.. thanks for that.. ;-)
You’re so funny! Heck yes I totally go for Dolphins. (Especially after this blog about how Octopuses are from the den of Satan!) GO DOLPHINS!!!
I LOVE DOLPHINS!!!!!!!!!!! by the way, totally hilarious :)
LoL! This is hi-larious!
plz spare the octopus, they are also natural biengs!
I laughed so hard until I saw the end picture. Then I became scared and weary of the existence of ninja octopuses O.O
in fact the octopus is very upon us
closer than most think
loved this entry cuz it was true and you made it fun to read at the same time
“No one knows about that day or hour”
Matthew 24:36
Haha. Adam should start writing for Cracked.com
I wonder about you sometimes, Adam. Seriously. Maybe this is a direct result of your insomnia, so now you’re dreaming during the day? Like daydreaming, but not just the kind where you imagine your life being perfect. I’m talking about literally dreaming while you’re awake, with all the intensity and realism of a night-time dream.
Hmmmmm…
-Cupcake
Visit my blog! iceseramoi.blogspot.com
Thank you for warning us Adam! I will be on my guard.
-Clairee<3
Two flippers up! Octopuses are evil and deserve to be put at bay! Their sinister ways have gone unnoticed for eons and the time has come for us to rise up, unite with the dolphins, and destroy the ocopodal race! Together, we can ring peace to the world once again. Whos with me?
@Lorelei AKA Galaxy
I think I might’ve cracked up more from your line “OH MY GIDDY GOD’S PAJAMAS!” than the blog itself (well, it was super close, so I can’t really say which one). Absolutely hilarious, and I plan to use that someday. :)
bahaha…you’re awesome :)
I’m asian. I eat octopi raw. In the event of an octopus apocalypse, I think I’d fare rather well- just gotta make sure I have an ample supply of rice, wasabi and soy sauce! :)
hahaha:) Its safe to say that made my week. I hope that someday I get to see one of your concerts:) I would have seen the one in chicago on the 29th, but my plans changed last minute :( Keep being amazing!
Emily
lol, I really appreciate, Adam, how you say “octopuses” instead of “octopi”. “Octopuses” is the correct spelling (though it would be even more correct to say “octopods”). This is why I love you.
hahaha i love this! totally made my day. dolphins for the win! =)
p.s. i wonder how many of these you actually read…*ponderponder*
…thats the old Adam I love! So weird…but i love you anyways ;)
hahaha, I laughed so good at this. It totally made my day and it’s barerly over midnight. You are so.. I don’t know. Incredible, sweet, funny in a really ecentric way. I will be aware of the octopuses now, definitely. And I who thought they were cool, innocent, smart, but not evil creatures. How naive could I be?
Ah, it’s good to come home to your writing! But I must say, I rather like octupi. Oh well. :)
I love it, Adam!!!
Owl City is sneaky. So full of allusions. *applauds*
Oh, wow. I take it you don’t like octopuses!. Awesome post, Adam. I wish I could think of stuff like that. :)
Julie :)
How could you forget to mention the suction cups? They are even scarier than the eight tentacles, because they cover each and every one! The suction cups are the scariest parts of the octopus. Hands down. Thanks for making me laugh Adam! I needed it! :)
Whoaaa. That is so good :O
Sharing…
Adam,
You have alerted the general public to our existence. Be prepared to feel the consequences. You will regret the day you even heard the word octopus. You have been warned.
-Minister for War,
Oscar Octopus
“An octopus has eight tentacles and knows it how to use them. So, too, must we know how to use the tools that God has given us: our friendships and relationships; our brains and skills; our ability to create technologies that will stand the test of time. This fight will not be easy, nor will it be waged on the cheap. But it must be fought, and, indeed, won.”
Beautifully written Adam! Keep up the good work! :)
“Octopus Question” is gonna be one of the songs on your next album, isn’t it? ;) [/crazy guess]
That said, I love this stuff. Very amusing! Things like this make the day seem brighter.
– Kellie R.
Adam,you are so smart!!!
Thanks for the inspirationsand metaphor that you put in the article!
Well.
In my humble opinion,
Adam put something more deep than talking about merely octopus & dolphins.
It is like,
“‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding…”
You got what I mean?
Ah, nothing better than a random journal entry such as this – though, knowing you, there’s probably a metaphor in here somewhere. :3
I will begin alerting the public to this menace; much of my country’s population live near the coast, meaning that we are highly suceptible to the octopus threat. We can only hope that the dolphins will come to our aid in time, and for the moment take solace in the fact that if we live more than half an hour away from water, we’re safe.
Better start loading up on salt.
wow and i thought u changed my perspective on life wen i started 2 listen 2 u but this… iv been living a lie…
As an octopus, I belive this is just ignorance and octoism. Just because one octopus does something bad doesn’t mean we should all get given the reputation. I am not a bad octopus! I donate to charitys regulary and help out at the shell-less turtle homes. I am sick of the constant abuse and threats I get when swimming along the sea bed, people telling me to go ink somewhere else or threatening to get the dolphins on me (they are NOT the saints you make them out to be!) and I do not need the humans turning against me!
- Peter the Octopus.
This has got to be the most creative way of presenting that lesson that I have ever read. Smiles all around :)
There’s a super old episode of Arthur in which D.W. is afraid to go in the water because she’s afraid of octopi. Either you should watch that episode, or you’ve watched it too many times lately. XD lol jk
This was hilarious!!!!! Surely one of your best enteries! And thanks for the warning, now I should make up some signs and post them around my neighborhood! ‘Cause they need to know!!!! lol
never trust an octupus!
Gold!
~laurianna
Wow. I will never view octopuses or dolphins the same way again. *peeks under bed and in closest before going to bed. locks all doors and windows*
You should be President!!!!
ADAM YOUNG FOR PREZ 2012
Dolphins seems more vicious than octopuses. Sure, the dolphin seems so happy and flamboyant yet with one remark it chomps the octopus in half with it’s jaws! 0.0
Great, now sharks aren’t the only creatures I have to worry about lurking under the water. :P
I’m thinking someone doesn’t like octopuses. but DONT FEAR!! Octopuses will never get on land because we have a special defense force: GIRAFFES! They can flail their heads and knock ‘em back into the ocean! Their so tall octopuses cower at the sight of them!!
Let’s face it! GIRAFFES ARE THE BEST DEFENSE AGAINST THE OCTOPUS MENACE!!
lol seriously though, i always had a feeling you were the newest reincarnation of the Doctor. NOW I HAVE PROOF!! XP
LOLz now I’ll never think of octopuses the same way!! But actually, they can be quite tasty in sushi and stuff! :) Actually, I’ve never liked dolphins that much either, for that matter. They always seem too happy-go-lucky for my liking. =]
But anyways, thanks for the awesomely random post! It only takes one little thing like this to brighten up someone’s day!!
God Bless!!
Oh, dearest Adam, you haz made my entire week with this!!
I’ve recently had my wisdom teeth out, and was feeling quite sorry for myself (which never helps anyway) and then decided to read your blog for this week.
…
needless to say, I nearly ripped out my stitches for laughing! You are an inspiration to all of us aspiring Dolphins, and I thank you for bringing the octopods out into the open. They are indeed the unholy offspring of Satan himself.
Also, I adore your abilities to create such a throbbing spiritual message out of comedic musings of the keyboard. Thank you for your encouragement through these dark and difficult days that are upon this earth. Thank you for reminding me that I do have the power to stand and fight for what I know in my soul is the truth of truths.
I listen to your music every day, because I know of your faith and your desire to help the rest of us along the straight and narrow as best you can. Thank you. Thank you. I can’t say it enough.
Yours forever,
Rissa (previously known here as Fantazz)
what a good articale! i wish i was a dolphin! this is very interesting and i thought this was smart. please do more animals, how about an owl and a rival animal….mabye a shark or a rat! who knows?
love and cookies from sarah x <3
haha! this actually cheered me up! thanks :D
“Sneaky little menaces”
“Never Trust an Octopus.” I shall remember that.
But you never know whether or not to trust a dolphin, either..
Please check out my blog. A friend of mine asked me to post a letter for you on it, since she wants it to reach you by any means possible.
http://orangeintheovercast.blogspot.com/
Thanks!
Hugs,
Madd :D
Terrific review! This is truly the type of post that needs to be shared around the internet. Shame on the search engines for not ranking this blog post higher!
Wow, that is one of the best metaphors I have ever encountered. Thank you for sharing that!
Numbers 6: 24-26
Keep fighting the good fight!
~Anna P.
aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! as if i wasn’t scared of octopuses (octopi?) enough… you never no where there lurking… i will now always check my water bottle for them!
i always thought i was the only one who really, really, REALLY hates octopuses, good to know you use your blog for a good cause.
and for the record… i always felt the same way about octopuses waay before reading this blog…for pete’s sake they can open jars!!!
that scares me… D: !!!
anyway..thanks!!! :)
Good grief. Every time you talk, mumble, sing, or spit, awesomeness comes out. Hope your day is blessed and swell :) Praise the name of JESUS~
Haha octopus ARE totally evil. omigosh I found a baby octopus at the beach the other day! I should have killed it :(
Somebody forced you to eat calamari, didn’t they?
So…not a big fan of octopi? I think they’re cute, they look squishy and very clever.
When I go to your blog, I either expect something deep, (Y’know, one of those posts you write that locks me in my thoughts until I can come up with a suitable conclusion. Or until I just think myself into sleep, because many times, I can’t put the pieces together in the right way.) or something so strange and hilarious that it just brightens my day.
Thank you. :)
@Madeline
HA! Thanks! I got it from a book called “Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging” by Louise Rennison. There are ten books in the series, and they are absolutely laugh-out-loud, pee-your-pants hilarious. They’re British.
@Madd AKA mmeee
Thanks again for posting that letter, you are a true sweetie. It means a lot! ;D
@everyone The letter I’m referring to lies behind this link…
http://www.orangeintheovercast.blogspot.com
@RaeLynn
YES! YEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! HE IS A TIMELORD! ADAM YOUNG IS A TIMELORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M NOT CRAAAAZZZZYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOOO! AUGUST 27TH LET’S KILL HITLER!!!!!
you, sir, should write a book. i know i would definitely read it.
ADAM I LOVE YOUUUUU!
AGREES WITH PAXTON!
A Talented, Shy Introvert Timelord who Hates Octopi and should write a book! I MUST BE ABSOLUTELY INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then again, who isn’t? NOT ME!
MANTIS SHRIMP ARE EVILLER THAN OCTOPI. THEY SNEAK INTO HOUSES OF PEOPLE WHO GET LIVING ROCKS FOR THEIR AQUARIUMS AND THEN THEY EAT ALL THE FISH IN THE AQUARIUMS AND USE THEIR CLAW ARM THINGYS TO BREAK THE GLASS AND ATTACK THE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE BY EATING THEIR FINGERS!!!!!!!!! I’M NOT LYING THEY ARE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DOLPHINS MUST SAVE US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what was I saying about being mad?
@ Lorelei AKA GalaxyGirl
You’re welcome! :D
ZE OCTOPUS WILL KILL US ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
But seriously. I saw a video of a “zombie squid”, in which, at a restaurant, a woman was pouring some sauce or something on a squid with it’s head cut off. Then it started to crawl out of the bowl. And they say zombies aren’t real…
How many roads must one octopi swim before he is called an octopi
How many seas must one swin before he can rest his eyes
And how many times must harpoons fly before they are denied
The answer my friend is bowing in the waves
the answer is blowing in the waves!
We need to realise that Octopusses are not evil! They are just misunderstood. We must band together and spread the word!
I must say, you forget to mention that Octopuses are creatures too. Just like human beings, mother Earth has created them. Just like human beings, they have evaluated through the time. Better than human beings, they have evaluated through the time. If we didn’t have houses, food from the supermarkets or weapons to kill, we can’t survive. Octopusses can!
And as you say that Octopusses are killers, you probably have forgotten the fact that they’ll only kill if they need to. That’s when they think they’re in danger or they need food. So don’t worry: they won’t kill you, if you don’t bother them, because you’re not the type of food they prefer. It’s all in the unwritten natural laws.
Oh man, this whole thing just made me crack up! You are SO funny! How do you come up with these things?!
(By the way, it’s octopi, not octopuses, LOL!) :-)
yeah! NO to those weird 8 legged beasts.. YES to DOLPHINS..
LOL.. i really couldnt stop laughing while reading this blog..
BUT what if an octopus camouflaged to look like a dolphin? What if dolphins were called dolphini? What if the dolphins and octopi could just get along? XD
PEACE o3o
and so they came to a truce
[img]i55.tinypic.com/ 23sghn9[/img]
and the dolphipus war was over.
THE END 8D
OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE OCTOPUSSES. Also, I’m in Children’s Chorale and we have this beginning camp for the new people to get used to every thing but anyway we had just gotten our folders of all the music we were going to sing over the year and I was digging around in it and my friend goes, “Hey, is Summit doing Fireflies with us?” And I go “Fireflies?”(Trying not to get my hopes up)”Who’s that by?” “Ummmmmmmm.. It says..Oh, Owl City.” ME:(Freaking out)”OH MY GOSH. OMYGOSH OMYGOSH OMYGOSH.” (Rapidly digging through pieces of music)”HERE IT IS!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!” And then I heard at least 3 people ask when were we gonna do Fireflies and the teachers kept saying that it was for later in the year. Sadly. But I’m SO exited!! Just thought you’d like to know.
I’m a little uneasy at your automatic trust of dolphins. Have you played Plants v. Zombies? Zombie dolphins! They are a very real and present danger on the pool levels.
I think you’re neglecting your duty to warn the public about that particular danger right there.
@I who llamas but doesn’t alpaca
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDD!!! TIMELORD!<3
Messed up the link ^^;
i55.tinypic.com/23sghn9
Quirky posts like these make my horrible day just a little bit more bearable(:
Thanks for the smile, Adam!
My eyes have been opened! 0:
I had no idea octopi were such formidable foes! Looks like I’ll have to take extra precautions when traveling to the downtown aquarium. Maybe I’ll even take a trip to the hardware store to buy some needle nose pliers in case one of them turns out to be a ninja octopus with throwing stars! D:
I always loved octopi. *sigh.* Oh well.
@Raineh
Very cute pic!<3
I just feel like I need to let you know that I, am an octopus. And I would like to kindly inform you that I am, indeed, not evil like the octopi described above.
Thank you, for reading this.
Adam, I love your randomness! Dolphins that shoot laser beams from their eyes? That is AWESOME!!! XD
hehehe…i believe adam just watched shark week on discovery channel and decided to write a topic about octupus vs. dolphins. just a suggestion: if that big octopus goes to your house, all you need are those black angry birds XD
Umar, Peter, Sam, Hannah–I fifth the pro-octopus sentiment. Octopuses are awesome. And so are dolphins, I have nothing against either. Well, I might have a few things against them both, but I’m sure we can set aside our differences.
And now that I think about it Adam Young has to be a Time Lord.
I’d give this eight tentacles up, but that would give you the sense that I’m an octopus. I’m really just a double-agent octopus, to be honest–a dolphin in disguise. ;D
Witty.
I would be interested to read a follow up post explaining the meaning behind the cleverness.
You have my respect.
i nearly died laughing! you need to write books! :D
“THE OCTOPUS IS UPON US!”
hahaha I love you Adam your so bizarre :)
This made me laugh a lot :)
Thanks ;)
This is octopus genocide o_O
Oh my goodness! I was on the phone with my boyfriend when i say that he had sent me an email with a link to your blog. I clicked on it and nearly died laughing! This is like something HE would say! I absolutely LOVED this post!
I promise to spread the word of the octopus threat! as long as you promise me you will always wear troll repellent! they like to steal peoples left socks. Trust me, I know.
God bless you and keep you (safe from trolls and octopuses and marauding furbies!)
I love your music! the sound and lyrics of it, and you have a great voice too! You are like my FAVE solo artist! keep dancing with those fireflies!
Adam,
The octopus is indeed an imminent threat. Dolphins have always been the good guys, but I strongly suggest doing a back ground check on a relation of theirs. The killer whale. Also known as the orca. They have no predators, not even sharks. Are they to be trusted? Behind that cute expression something fishy could be lurking the remote corners of their minds. Hmmm…
Keep writing!
Livy
you make me laugh.
and it made me think.
we must know how to use the gifts God has given us. Thanks for that.
enjoy australia.
Adam,
When I was really little I watched this nature show where they were talking about how dangerous octopi are and for a long time after that I was terrified of them! This reminds me so much of my little phobia… I wouldn’t go as to say that it brings back ‘good memories’ or whatever, but it does make me giggle at myself…
And I’ve loved dolphins for like ‘forever’
Stay encouraged,
Madeline M.
Psalm 121
Totally hilarious.
I am curious. . .is the said octopuses meant to represent something realistic? If so what might that be? And if this is only something random and cute, how could we relate it to real life? Adam, I think you are a brilliant person and thank you for your contribution to the culture of our society. Indeed this makes me think.
Someones been on tumblr a lot lately.
I likED octopuses(or octopi…) but this changed my point of view….:)
I find octopi interesting. I totally don’t agree about killing them. haha. When I read, “Shooting laser beams from eyes.” I was thinking, “Pokemon?” LOL. I am not really that into dolphins though. Anyway, EPIC. I am so glad to find another person like you. (I like the fact that you like writing/typing, thinking, music, ect.) You are so frivolous! In a good way. :D
From personal experience running on roads Asics are far and away the best running footwear. They offer plenty of comfort and cushion and don’t wear down for any really long time.
That. Was. Hilarious.
I love the chart!
It’s true though, octopuses are EVIL!
Interesting points. Will you be writing more on this subject? I’ve been a lifetime remote control airplane enthusiast. I would love to read more.
What a great article, is there any way I can get an alert email whenever you write a new article?
this was so funny! XD although honestly Octopuses arent that bad, but then again who knows right? i love dolphins too!
i vote for the dolphins of course ^^
I love you Adam! I love dolphins, and I’m so happy that you do too!!!
waow. you must have been pretty bored (and imaginative) when you wrote this!!
Whoaahahaha. the last picture worried me. Wish I wouldn’t find that one at my house…. A big one octopus -_-
Once defeated the Octopus can be very delicious.
Hahahaha…I am glad that someone is finally taking the initiative to warn the world about such a dangerous enemy. ;)
You had me peeing myself with laughter; thought I was gonna wake the entire house up. :P Thanks for providing a hilarious (and educational!) alternative to homework. :)
F*ckin’ tremendous things here. I am very glad to see your article. Thanks a lot and i’m looking forward to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?
LOL! I laughed and laughed reading this… Loved it. Thanks for sharing!
I’m quite happy to see this, actually, because I’ve always been (what I thought was) irrationally afraid of octopi. Not as afraid as I am of squid, but still terrified enough to avert my eyes at aquariums. Now I know that my fears are perfectly justified and that I am not alone in recognizing the eight-legged menace.
oh crap. I knew it! I KNEW IT!! Octopi are taking over the WOOORRRLD!!
Oh, hey, guess what. I PUBLISHED A BOOK! HEY, YOU! HEY YOU! GO BUY IT AND THAT GIVES ME 1.37 CENTS! WOOOH!
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/teardrop/17177646
Where do you come up with this stuff? You’re so clever in the most brilliant way…
I will destroy you, Owl City. Octopi are the most peaceful of the cephalopods and only ONE type could ever killed a man, if you’re dumb enough to go prod it.
Dolphins are malicious and they attack and kill their own to show dominance. They’re also masters of trickery and they’re KNOWN thieves. All octopi do are open jars and blend into rocks.
Stop the hate against cephalopods. It is NOT appreciated.
Cephalopod love forever!
Oh yeah, I liked this too ^^ Hahah! I can’t believe that there’s people (I can’t believe a lot of things, no? But I believe that one day I will go to the Moon and my corpse will be buried on another Planet, so persons think I am weird. Maybe I am, but: and after? Does it change anything to your Life?!? Well…) who think ”strangeThings” (my friend Maude invented that word just for me. That’s cute, no? :3) like I think. Like, let me give you an exemple:
One day, I was going to my Science period (and my teacher doesn’t know how to teach -_-” His lessons are sooooooo boaring!!! Anyways…), and when I entered, I saw on the green board that today was the exam. So I was like ”Oh my Dear (because I don’t swear. Swearing is bad. ‘Cause, you know, He is our creater, and all people is like ”Boolshit” and I’m like ”Ah! You don’t believe in your Father?!? Satan’s follower!!! è_é (like octopuses :3) ) , I didn’t studdy! I’m gonna faaaail!!!” And then, I thought that if I asked a loooot of questions to the (bad) teacher about nowhere things (but more interresting than the lessons that he teached us), I could waste all the period and the exam would be later (Mouahahah!!! I’M SO INTELLIGENT!!!!!!) (don’t juge me) (maybe people was right: I’m weird…) (well…)!
So I went to his biiiiiiig table, in front of the classroom, and I asked him:
(Me:)Hello, why the Sky is blue?
(Him:)The exam is today. Go back to your place.
And I was like ”Oh my Dear, how can he know that?!?”. And the answer was ”Because he is an alien!!! Oh no!!!”. Yeah, don’t juge me!!! I can think that if I want!!! -_-”
So, (my comment is as long your article! Ahahah!), I looked at the back of the classroom, and I saw the book-case. ”Hum…” I thought.
”I could take the books and rip their pages, and then, I could throw the bookcase through the class and destroy desks. And after, I could take the brown-paper and throw it in the face of the teacher. And then, I could kick his butt, and after, take his computer and throw it through the window.”
Did I do anything of those BEAUTIFUL ideas?
Hum…no.
So I did my exam, and that was easy. But I don’t have the results, so I cannot tell if that was easy than I am expecting to.
Does it make sense? Maybe not. But I wanted to show you that there’s people who think more wierd things than you (or maybe a little less).
If you don’t read this, I’m gonna throw your computer throw the window ;) No, seriously, don’t stress yourself with that, I cannot do something like this. My mother wouldn’t like -_-”
Well, I think that is the looooonger comment your article has now!
And PS: my favorite animal (well, I loooove cats and owls, but one of my other favorite) is the dolphin ^^ And I sleep with a dolphin (well, a teddyDolphin) (don’t juge me again! :C). And I have a Teddy-octopus and it is green, and not really alive, so it cannot hurt me when I’m asleep. (Well, if the toys are alive like in Toys Story (a beautiful movie *w*)… But I think that’s possible, but MY octopus is nice. Because it is trained, so it wouldn’t hurt me. My Nightmares can do that well alone…)
So I liked your article ;) And the last comment (not mine, the other one) (from Natasha…) hurted me! Why does she want to destroy you?!? That’s not nice…
But if you say that octopuses are Evil…that’s gonna happen!!! The End of the World! Because, in the real Life, Evil always wins. That’s not like in the movies… :(
Adam, you are just like me, dolphins are my fave animal, and I don’t like octopuses that much. I agree. I hope they don’t take over the world. I love your music it’s so creative.
@Natasha at least dolphins have souls and what you said is not true.
I think I might write that letter to congress.. lol
I’ve said that least 1274307 times. The problem this like that is they are just too compilcated for the average bird, if you know what I mean
Your article write V suitably.
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All the more reason to be afraid of octopi:
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/graphics/20100725_octopusGraphic/
“Vicious, vicious killers” is only two different words! HA! I win.
Also,
OCTOPI WALL STREET!
…Ahem. That is all.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=badHUNl2HXU
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=560451794
I don’t believe those present fully understood the danger they were in. Luckily, the octupus thought there were too many cameras present to perform the deed he was sent to perform and retreated. We must be on alert.
First off, the beatles have joined the octupus side, and second, when and were will the epic showdown between Dolphin kind and Octipi take place?
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