My friend Pete has a theory he refers to as “Deep Regret.”
By definition, Deep Regret is the acute anxiety or inevitable apprehension trigged in the average male by the sudden or unexpected appearance of an immensely beautiful girl he innately knows is way out of his league. This girl is so gorgeous, so exquisite, so stunning, he becomes instantly enamored beyond mental functionality and can barely keep his eyes from popping out of his head, let alone bring himself to speak to her. Her beauty and elegance, her feminine mystique are so intoxicating, so staggering, his knees involuntarily go weak, he becomes unreasonably inarticulate, and as a result, just stands there like a n00b with his jaw on the sidewalk. Naturally, she takes zero notice of him and doesn’t even acknowledge his existence as she gracefully strolls away out of sight, and ultimately out of this life forever. It’s not a conscious thing on her part; she’s not being discourteous or mean by any stretch of the imagination, she’s just that sweet, innocent and utterly charming. She simply has no idea.
Okay. Never for a second have I pretended to have the ever-elusive female charm all figured out, but I can certainly speak for the impending inhibitions that we shy males must deal with. I’d tried to give this crazy phenomena a suitable title for a long time until Pete finally hit the nail on the head. Deep Regret refers to the irresistible longing a boy has to approach and speak to his dream girl even though he cannot physically or emotionally make himself do it. He is trapped in inner turmoil. Stricken by quiet chaos. Utterly helpless. Paralyzed. Despite the inner machine gun spray of stinging desperation, he watches her walk away and spends that night staring at the ceiling wondering WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED had he found the strength to fight back the nerves long enough to say hello. His chance is lost, she is gone, yet he still replays the scene in his head, wishing he wasn’t such a jellyfish around pretty girls. Who knows what might’ve happened? He kicks himself. The wondering alone could choke a moose.
That, dear friends, is Deep Regret.
We opened for John Mayer in Houston a few months ago. Myself and good pal/monitor engineer Micah were hoofing down the quarter mile stretch from the venue to the bus after soundcheck. The sidewalk led us around the perimeter of the grounds before intersecting with a long line of fans waiting to get into the show. We were minding our own business, talking about nothing in particular when suddenly, it happened. I glanced off to my right and my heart literally stopped dead.
It was electric. It all happened in slow motion. There in front of us was a group of girls in their early/mid-twenties, walking and chatting amongst themselves on their way to the show. One of them turned to say something to her friend and I almost had a heart attack. I literally, physically couldn’t breathe. Everything about her was gorgeous. Her eyes, her smile, the way her hair fell across her face, the way she laughed, the way she walked. I was immediately struck by the Stupid Hammer as my frozen charisma melted all over the sidewalk and I stood there gaping like a ridiculous imbecile.
Allow me to pause for a moment simply to clarify that this was NOT a beastly, primal, overly-rugged masculine emotion that took hold of me. I did NOT slobber all over myself via lewd desire like some impudent, lustful, arrogant bro. I did NOT jump up and down and inwardly scream “Woah, that girl is hot!” because it is my personal opinion that the word “hot” has been weighed down by so many repulsive, disrespectful connotations (all thanks to modern media), that it has ultimately become a rather derogatory adjective with which to describe such pure and blameless beauty. It has a devious way of cheapening it and that tends to bug me. Deep Regret and the stunning quality of such unpolluted beauty is far too exquisite and innocent to be associated with such brash crudeness.
Whew. Glad that’s all cleared up.
She was beautiful. Actually, beautiful doesn’t even touch how graceful this woman was. I was utterly smitten. My mouth went dry and my heart beat around inside my chest like a dull jackhammer as the butterflies in my stomach strapped on rusty ice skates and raged in thunderous fury. My malfunctioning mental faculties shuddered and turned over a few times like a cold engine in a winter morning before promptly shutting down. It was the first time in my life I’d truly felt stunned by beauty.
I was speechless. She was Cinderella.
As I stood there incapacitated, she glided by and continued on down the sidewalk, just being totally sweet and innocent. We never made eye contact, she didn’t happen to look up or notice me. She had no idea I was even there. I instantly knew what had happened because it hit me like an iron bell in an empty church.
DEEP REGRET STRIKES AGAIN.
This is where I tell everyone how I’ve never fancied myself a terribly romantic person, and just like anyone, I have my fair share of rough edges. However, during this particular scenario in Houston, had I kept my wits about me and somehow found the nerve to approach Cinderella, I suspect I would’ve merely blabbered a load of silly rubbish via a doomed attempt of acting “cool” or “outgoing” or “fun,” only to fail miserably. Of course, I still wonder what would’ve happened. Alas, the world continues to turn, life continues to endure, and Deep Regret continues to strike like a viper.
Despite all of this, there is hope, endless amounts of the stuff, and that’s my favorite part.
This is where I swallow an overdose of optimism, leap out of my chair with my fist in the air, and shout from the rooftops at the top of my lungs, “Life must go on!” for this I truly know:
She is out there. My Cinderella. She is real. She exists. I pray for her constantly. May God satisfy the desires of her heart, draw her close, consume her. May He claim her passions, her identity, her refuge, her hopes, her strengths and weaknesses, every fiber of her being. May she treasure and cherish her Savior more than anything of this world and cling to His will with every ounce of her stamina. By all that she is, does, and strives to be, may He draw near to her and she to Him.
A mental scene is suddenly vivid. The midday sun beats down on a dirty saloon town. A showdown is taking place in the middle of a sweltering dusty street. Back to back, Deep Regret and I pace off as the clinks of our spurs split the deafening silence. At any moment, we’ll whirl around and face each other, gun metal blazing like fire. Our shots will ring through the empty buildings, shatter glass storefront windows, and only one will walk away alive.
At present, the sunset deepens in the dusk and we are still pacing, Deep Regret and I. Muscles tensed, senses alert, counting, waiting, ready to lunge for each other’s throats like wild animals. Though it hasn’t happened yet, the moment will surely arrive when faith and fear collide like a double train wreck and that’s when I’ll spin around and pull the trigger with such deft aim and vehement resolve, a silver bullet will rip through the air and I won’t even have to stand there and watch it spiral in slow motion… because I’ll already know… I won’t miss.
That’s the cool Wyatt Erp version.
Perhaps the Cary Grant version is a bit more refined. Perhaps I’ll be wearing a crisp tuxedo when I meet her (highly unlikely). I shall approach Her Highness, bow, and graciously introduce myself. She’ll offer me her royal hand, reveal her name to me, and we shall chat pleasantly whilst swirling around a ballroom of dreamy splendor. Our friendship will grow and blossom, and neither of us will ever have to write silly (and rather verbose) blogs explaining what Deep Regret is because it’ll just feel right and perhaps even meant to be.
It’s a cozy thought. Yet one I prefer to casually think about over long flights to Japan rather than wish upon a star right this second.
Time. There is much time left and lots of life seasons. There is much to see, to do, and to be.
I am a happy clam. I must take it all in, give thanks for it, and treasure reality with a heart crammed full of content as life continues to play out day-by-day. Should I do simply that, I shall finally rest assured knowing the next time Deep Regret rears its ugly head, I’ll be waiting with semi-smug confidence, ready to act swiftly.
Wow, Adam. It took a lot of courage to write that. You know, I think everyone experiences that same Deep Regret once in a while. I know I have. And don’t beat yourself up anymore about your Deep Regret. “For we know that all things work together for good.” (Romans 8:28)
love you, Adam!
Dasha
Made me smile. :)
I hope someone is out there praying that for me, just like you’re praying for her, just like I’m praying for that illusive him.
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who experiences this Deep Regret.
Keep being an encouragement, okay? ^^
AWWWWWWW this is so lovely and so true, its not just the guys that feel Deep Regret us girls do too. believe me. i hope that the girl you pray for will someday find you, because you deserve the world for everything you do. to put it simply YOU ROCK :)
your awesome and you blog always makes my terrible monday perfect again. thanks
xxxxxx
Adam,
Soon you shall overcome Deep Regret and hence forth and win your Cinderella’s heart. You don’t need a telescope to see that there’s hope.
I hope you end up with the girl of you dreams.
Tom.
I love how you pray for your ‘Cinderella’! I pray for my Prince Charming too, whoever and wherever he is… And sometimes I find it hard to wait for him to come find me. I guess I need to put Psalm 37:4 into practice.
Till we meet on the day that great trumpet sounds,
Beth
This just made me cry.
I, like Beth, pray that you find your Cinderella when the time is right. She is out there, waiting on Prince Charming.
I think you just broke every other girls hearts that are reading this.
Now all I keep thinking is, what it I was that girl?
Adam, I think you are really brave to admit this! I know that everyone have, or are going to feel Deep Regret (girls to, like xHopex said). I hope that you find your Cinderella. Keep on praying and hope fore the best.
Have a greate day!
Love Evelina
Romans: 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (NLT)
My most fave part of the blog – “… leap out of my chair with my fist in the air, and shout from the rooftops at the top of my lungs, “Life must go on!…” Hahahaha! Don’t worry Adam, you will find her. Just got to wait for the right time. Not based on our “calendar” but the “calendar” of our “Big Guy” above. ;)
To quote an All-American Rejects song:
“Forget about the sunshine when it’s gone.”
The wold needs more people like you Adam.
Oh, and..
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (NIV)
I experinced this yesterday at church. there was a guy sitting by himself behind me, also sitting by myself, who wasnt exactly ridiculously handsome or charming by the world standards but had a presence to him that made me all mushy inside. at the end of the church service I chickened out of introducing myself and welcoming him, since I’ve been going to that church for years and had never once seen him before.
I wondered what would have happened had I introduced myself all night. I wondered if he would be back next sunday. I wondered if he was remembering me like I remembered him…
deep regret.
after reading your blog Im reminded of God’s faithfulness and that as Im praying for my prince charming, he is out there praying for me the way you are praying for your cinderella. God’s plan for me and my future spouse is more glorious than I could imagine. The Father of all would never show me gold and give me silver. There is gold out there for me too. I believe in his faithfulness and goodness.
I think everyone has that sometimes…..girl or guy. But, there’s no one that can relate to your exact situation. God knows all about you and the person who’s perfect for you! You can rest assured knowing that if that girl was right for you God would have allowed you to meet her. You never know when God will decide to show you your cinderella. All you can do is pray to Him and tell Him that your life is His. It’s next to impossible not to worry but with God we never need to worry because He has our whole life planned out. He will never leave us or forsake us.
I pray every night that God(when it is His will) will show me the only true one for me. i can’t wait until that day!!! It will be so amazing!!! I really wish that there was more people like you, Adam! The world be a truly awesome place!!
You are my hero, my inspiration and it makes me cry (in a good way) to see that you are human just like me. Your entrys always makes me laugh or cry, sometimes both. It’s the same things with your lyrics and your music. Bit think at it like this, The stars will always be up there watching you, exepting you for the person you are and not for the person you want to be. God is up there and will always love you as he loved his son. I will always be here admiring you and longing to meet you. xoxo Ottilia
I really enjoyed this blog; it was just what I needed. It is so true. Even though I am a girl, I know what you mean by the “deep regret”.
I always wondered what exactly happened with the girl you met in Houston, so thanks for sharing! =]
Thank you so much.
Lately I have been a little lost in my own thoughts and in a lack of confidence rut but you remind me again that there is always hope and ‘Life must go on!’
My Saviour is with me and I am forever grateful for the gorgeous life He has given me. Yay!
“I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Psalm 121:1-2
Adam,
This totally just made my day. So many times I have experienced this deep regret you wrote about. But lately God has been showing me that I need to trust in him and he will sort everything else. I pray for my “Cinderella” as well, and I trust that one day when His timing is right, God will bring the two of us together. Thank you for this blog. I’m glad I’m not the only one in the world dealing with this.
First impressions are wildly overrated. Call me pragmatic. I think there are many possible life partners out there, so take the pressure off yourself and don’t place so much importance on some perfect initial contact with a physically beautiful person. Get to know a variety of people and try to discern their inner beauty. Then you will stand a better chance of finding your ‘happily ever after’.
I love reading your blogs; you write so beautifully! Like everyone else in the comments said, I used to get this too, only I just wanted to be friends with the boy. XD I’m over him now, though, and I’ve made some new friends in the meantime who are probably better friends for me than he would have been.
P.S. “Phenomena” is plural…
adam you will find your cinderella i know it, and you guys will live happliy ever after.
DEFINITELY the best part of every Monday :)
Anyone else find it impossible to not involuntarily grin like an idiot while reading this? :D
Don’t worry, Adam. Girls get Deep Regret, too, in fact, I am kinda in a Deep Regret moment now. Don’t give up, though. That’s what I tell myself. And I hope you will find the girl of your dreams. I know you will. You truly deserve her.
Keep up the good work,
Mia.
Do you think you could design a seminar on “How to be a Man” and come teach it to all the guys at my church?
That’d be super.
In all seriousness though, I am so very encouraged by this post. I know that somewhere, at sometime God will reveal my Prince Charming to me, riding in on a white stallion, or at least a Honda Civic, to sweep me off my feet. And I won’t settle for anything less.
I’m just glad to know that guys like you actually DO exist. Men in there 20s seem like more of a fairytale wish everyday. You have revived my hope!
Ah this deep regret, I have felt it many times. I can relate to the whole weak knees part. I never believed that it was more than just a
metaphor until I experienced it in an electronics store when a particular worker asked if I needed help. So what did I do when I got he that evening? Yes, I wrote a song. I advise you do the same, because one day I met that worker, and sang it to him.
I was so jittery and excited when I FINALLY got in the car after school and whipped out my phone knowing that YOU, good sir, had a scrumptious blog waiting for me. Hah, Im such a nerd.
Anyways, when I saw the title I immediately thought this week’s post was going to be depressing. I was happily surprised. Reading about the whole “internal chaos” part really made me laugh (which resulted in weird looks from my mother) but also really surprised me. The guys at my school (granted they are teenage boys) are rather crude and pigs and ultimately, a bunch of meatheaded jerks that I’ve known since kindergarten. Yes there are the skater guys who are hilarious and fun (who I mostly hang out with) and a somewhat nerdy kid who’s like a little brother, but known of them seem at all like what you described, with the Deep Regret part and all.
They all have girlfriends to either have one or makeout all the time (except for one or two couples who are awkwardly in luv). So as you can see from my point of view this was a shock. But, like you, I am a wishful thinker, so hearing this news about Deep Regret really got my hopes up. Maybe boys will mature.
someday.
I know you’ll keep in touch with Cinderella (I know people who went to that concert, they explained it all to me) so don’t give up hope! Write a cute song about it or something ;)
Adu!
Your Tulsan Owl (who rly wants you to come to Tulsa soon!!!)
also, I thought the part where you shared your opinion about “hot” was adorable. I absolutely agree with you, and I canNOT stand it when someone describes a girl as sexy!! That is so stupid and slutty, just ohmygosh it makes me mad. >:(
so kudos to you, Adam! One more reason why I love ya! I feel like listening to “if my heart was a house”. It describes this blog. so does Vanilla Twilight, actually. But only parts.
Adam, if every boy in this world had the same values as you, girls’ problems would be solved. It really does get on my nerves when guys call girls “hot.” And I think we all experience Deep Regret from time to time. You’re not alone :) Do keep optimistic, Adam. I know you always do. Your Cinderella is out there. God has everything mapped out, and I’m confident that he gave you a brilliant future with the dreamiest girl you could imagine.
Well, I guess everyone has lived their Deep Regret moments once in their lives. I know I have, and it has happened so many times I lost my count. However, you’re certainly true, may God bless them, guide them and help them to fullfill the wishes of their hearts. As for us, there will be time. I don’t even know why am I writing this anyway…
I really don’t think you’ll get the time to read it, it’s just silly. You must have quite a lot of things to do rather than worry over every single response from your fans on either your facebook official page, your blog, besides all the work you’ve got to do, always running up and down, your manager trailing after you…
Sigh, such an agitated yet interesting life. I’m just a mere someone trying to reach a celebrity via internet… But, still I feel this urge to talk to you not because you’re a celebrity, but because you’re an artist, a very special person with whom I can relate with so many things. You’ve got the heart a dreamer, an innocent child. And that special attribute shows in those melodic poems people calls “singles” and “albums”
But anyway… At the end of the day, you’ll just swiflty scroll over the thousands and thousands of comments, thank from the buttom of your heart and log out.
Nothing will ever change, I’ll move on with my own life here in the center of america, and you’ll keep singing, composing and writing…I’ll continue to be just a mere someone, a shy and silly girl who hopes that someday, her dreams will come true. She prays, for it to happen, someday…
May God bless you, help you to reach your heart desires, may He lay his powerful hand on you and guide you.
As for me, I hope I could meet you in person one day, chat, have a nice cup of coffee and become friends. I don’t consider myself as your fan…I simply appreciate the art you create with those wonderful lyrics and dreamy melodies.
Oh my dear socks!! I’d like to talk with you endlessly, I imagine it would be funny! Haha, well, enough already.
If by any chance you end up reading this silly comment of mine, I just hope you find it funny :P
P.S. My heart skips a beat at the bare thought of me landing my feet at San Francisco and voi la! Adam Young casually strolls across the street…I would then, just smile and oh dear, Deep Regret won’t take me down that easily!! :D If his security guards doesn’t tackle me first :P
Anyways, take care, it was a really entertaining chat, thank you :D
God bless you, always. (I’ll be praying 4 U)
Well, i only wish i was the outrageously good looking Max Steel.
Not a girlfriend in my life and keep hoping and praying the one is out there somewhere. Pretty girls just scare even my small socks off. i Sing the line, “Baby, i’ve spent my life wonderin’, wonderin’ when i’d find you, i’ve searched for all these years and now you’re right…” there! Oh bother, of course you’re not alone Adam!
Oh, and this blog reminded me of the song Christmas Song that you wrote. “You and I met passing by, and now our spirits feel warm.” Can you pleeeeeeeeeeeease put it on iTunes? I love it so much. And it’ll be out just in time for Christmas too… :)
ADAM!!!! THAT WAS CUTE!!!! I LOVED IT!!!!! It was just wonderful!! I really liked this weeks blog. It truly made me smile :) I hope that one day you and your dream girl have a special moment together!
My friends like that too. He likes a girl, but he’s to scared to go and talk to her…. I think that, that’s BEYOND CUTE!! (but I won’t tell him, he’ll get mad).
And don’t worry Adam Young, girls sometimes feel the same about boys too!! Should we talk to them, or not?
But I think EVERYONE has had times like “DEEP REGRET”. No matter what, everyone in their life has let something pass by, and not even try!
I try not to, but everyone is shy, even outgoing people are shy (I’ve been told that I’m outgoing, but I think I’m more shy than out going…)
But everyone will get a chance, just like you!!!! (I’ve been SUPER happy at the moment, but it feels good rather than depression!)
So keep smiling, and hope “DEEP REGRET” doesn’t come again! Love you Adam Young!!!!
surprised no one has claimed to be this girl from Houston haha
also reminded me of the show flashforward, one of the concepts is that:
once you meet someone, another dimension is created with you and them, where all the questions (what could have been? what if i asked her out?) take place, just not in this dimension.
way not true, but at least it’s dreamy to think about.
let’s make those dreams realities people. GO FOR IT!
speaking of “go for it”
after much listening of your music
i wrote a song last Winter, somewhat in your vein of writing
just all garageband, and i literally just use the built-in mic (very grassroots! yay!)
it’s called “Fair in Height (Fahrenheit)”
(2nd song)
http://www.myspace.com/gabelytle
this isn’t promotional AT ALL, it’s just my old music site
Adam,
You inspire me.
-Dauphin.
I have to agree with what Dauphin said.
You inpire me, Adam.
Keep the good job.
Cya.
Lívia. :)
This is so exactly what I needed to hear right now. I need to pray for him, whoever he is, and pray for patience too. :)
“Time. There is much time left and lots of life seasons. There is much to see, to do, and to be. ”
Your writing is amazing Adam.
You are my idol and one of my inspirations for my music and writing. I love you!
You’re so lovely and charming that I know you’ll find Cinderella one day.
Thank you for making mine!
-Grace♥
Is it weird to say that I cried while reading it? Actually, I’m still crying. I don’t know, Adam. Everything you write and say… It’s so true; So beautiful. I wish I could say nice words to you, but I’m brazilian. So it’s really hard to speak english like you do, haha. Adding amazing words in your texts, and other things… Anyways! I love how cute and sensitive you are. And you don’t need to have fear while talking with girls, because you’re special. You’re an angel. You are sweet. As sweet as them, believe me. You just need to be more confident, and I know how is it! I’m a girl, but I am also too shy! I can’t talk to anyone. Ya know, sometimes I get sad because I want you to be happy, but I know you would’t be happy with me. I don’t have “ocean eyes” and neither a lovely smile. And I’m not blonde. So… Yeah, phisically, I’m not your “type”. And also I’m an ordinary brazilian girl while you’re a famous american guy. You can see that we live in such different worlds. And I feel depressed because of that. You, Adam, is the guy of my dreams. You stoled my heart. I know I definately won’t have yours, but… Ya know… I just wish you read this. I just wish you notice my love for you. I just wish you knew I exist! But it’s okay… I will never be loved by people I love. Life is unfair with us. And now I’m here, crying again, because of this horrible feeling called “love”. I love you, adam. Everything you do. Everything you write and say. Has anyone told you that you have a lovely smile? That your hair is awesome? That you are sweet and sensitive? That you are an angel? That you are blessed? Yeah, you should know those things. I know we’ll never be together, but I wish you happiness. And I hope you find the girl of your life. Your “Cinderella”. And be really happy with her. But I won’t forget you. Never. <3 Well.. Ok. That's it. I'm tired of saying those things. I don't even know if you'll read it. Well, at least I'm trying. Thank you for the text. You give us a life lesson everytime you post something in the blog.
I love you with all my heart. <3
@BruhUrie on twitter.
Wow . . . Adam, you have, with this blog post, immeasurably brightened my day, and thoughts. I had been feeling much pain for many too many days before I read this.
And you’re right, ‘Life must go on!’
P.S. I couldn’t agree more about what the word ‘hot’ has become. But I’ve never had the literary skill to describe such a thing accurately with words.
Thanks, Adam!
I can’t agree more. Females go through this too, the whole deep regret thing. I’ve had it several times.
The question “What if?” beats us all up at some point, and if you’re anything like me, you stay awake the entire night sometimes just thinking.. What if?
I also totally love what you said about calling a girl “hot”, to be honest, girls like any compliments, but we’d definitely rather be called “beautiful” rather than “hot”. “Hot” just says appearances, whereas “beautiful” says everything, personality, appearance, first impressions, everything.
I’m not going to lie, if you were talking about me, I would probably scream. xD
Thank you for making my day. :)
wow. you know how much some of us would like to hear something like this as opposed to the cheesy corny retarded pickup lines we get day in and day out? (and yes I realize that sentence was a run on and had entirely too many adjectives. But sometimes there just aren’t enough words)
Next time just go for it, you never know if the girl is thinking the same thing and is too nervous to talk too. :) It’s nice to know there are some good guys out there.
Dude YOU ARE ADORABLE.
I realize how creepy that sounds, but it’s true. :)
Never stop being yourself, man. There are a lot of girls who would KILL for a guy like you. And yes, she is out there, and she is very lucky (she just doesn’t know it yet).
P.S. I don’t use “hot” or “sexy” either. The connotations of such words are just wrong.
caitlyn beth is one luckylucky girl. and she is mighty fine i must agree with you :)
Adam Young,
You sir, are a diamond out of a handful of pebbles.
What a beautiful read on a crisp, fall night.
It made me smile and saw “Aww” on occasion. :]
I hope you find her. She’ll be so wonderful to you, that lucky duck. <3
I really do think this is about the girl in the blue dress…
but really think, God has a plan for you. :)
It makes me SO happy that we share the same opinion on the word “hot”. I literally cringe when I hear someone described that way.
Once again, a great post! You are so beautifully talented!
You, sir, have made this crazy Monday a bright one. I wish you all the luck and hope you find your Cinderella soon. She’ll certainly be lucky to have you. :)
Your writing is amazing, by the way.
Thank You So Much! This Made My Whole Day :). I Love All The Work You Do, It Is just so beautiful and graceful that it’s almost…Speechless. And I hope and pray that you one day find Your “Cinderella”.
And once again Thank You For everything!
Woah Adam. I’ve felt that plenty of times.
But good job, now there’s some girl out there who read this, who also went to the Houston show, and is wondering whether if you are talking about her or not.
Trust me Adam, girls get Deep Regret too.
There’s this one guy at my school, who is like…whoa. Seriously one of the most beautiful creatures I’ve ever seen. I stare at him far too much to be considered normal, and I want to talk to him SO BAD, but for some reason I can’t. I’m too shy. I admit this. But I still have faith that someday we’ll finally talk to each other.
Amazing blog post. It’s relieving to know that some guys still think of girls in terms of “beautiful” instead “hot.”
You’ll find her soon. I know you will. <3 Any girl would be lucky to have you.
Adam,
This nearly made me cry. As an introvert, I completely relate to the feeling of “deep regret.” But, like you, I believe God has a guy out there specifically for me, and He will bring him to me when the timing is right. However, I tend to get impatient. :) I’ve been praying for him for years now, and my prayer has always included that I hope he is praying for me, too. You have given me hope that there ARE still guys out there that want a girl who is on fire for Christ, because sometimes I wonder. So, thank-you.
Love in Christ,
Erika
Adam,
Nearly every one of your recent blogs have made me cry! Except for The Chair, as it wasn’t all that heart-wrenching. : )
I don’t know about anyone else, but I know I find it horribly cute when a guy is so smitten he can barely form words. Not that it happens to ME all that often, but anyway… Whoever your Cinderella is is eagerly awaiting Prince Adam to bring the glass slipper and sweep her off her feet. You’ll find her soon. And who knows? Perhaps this girl IS your Cinderella, and you’ll meet again at a later date? God does miraculous things, and perhaps this moment of Deep Regret was to prepare you for your future encounter? ; )
Bethany
i feel the same way about you… sucks right? *sigh*
Adam,
I have experienced deep regret too. A few months ago I was shopping and this guy recognized me from a year ago when we meet volunteering. I was so shocked, I talked to him for a bit, but I never asked his name. I wish I had. Each day I pray I will meet him again.
You make yourself sound too ordinary… I’m really glad I know you’re on the right side of the coin!! Seriously dude, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.. You’ll find her… Your posts are very encouraging… Thank you..
I really hope you find your wife-to-be. :) live happily ever after in owl city.
I have only ever felt this. You are defiantly not alone. I like to think of it as we don’t ask that person out or even say hi, because He has the right person waiting to met us. We will just have to wait and not ponder “what ifs”. What will be will be, as they say.
aaaawwww how cuuuteeee!! I know. I feel like that sometimes. no, scratch that, everyday. It sucks! Like I feel like I’ll be alone forever. And seeing other people happy makes me sad, but I feel like Ill just be alone: / But I guess God has it all planned out. Its hard to believe sometimes but I guess we just gotta give it all to Him. And I mean Im young yet so I got a while to go haha but still it feels like eternity. But we have to remember there is someone out there who feels the exact same way.
This has happened to me once, except I was on friendly terms with her for quite a while.
Dear me…..this boy can write!
I love what you stand for:)
I would have thought your “deep regret” was that you publicly hit on an underage highschooler by posting about her on your twitter page. (The girl in Houston was only 17 years old.)
Beautiful writing, but I somehow doubt it’ll make your future wife smile someday when reading about how struck by another girl’s outer beauty you once were.
What vision cans stops us dead in our tracks and leave us breathless? Those that we have programed into the pleasure spot in our brain. How do we program our pleasure spot? http://wireheading.com/pleasure.html
I do love your posts, however I do in some ways agree with commenter “Hmm”.
Just remember to watch your thoughts- they become ideas, actions habits, character, and so on.
:)
Adam, Your an encouragement to us all. I was at Passion 2010 last weekend and the speaker talked about you and your blog. After taking some time today and reading through and then to see this post.. it was everything i was looking for. To see that you are praying for your Cinderella is the most beautiful thing i have ever heard. You have no idea who she is or where she is but here you are being a beautiful Man of God. I kinda wish that I would be able to talk to you face to face because I know you would just be such a cool guy to talk to and have a lot to say. You come off as the shy guy but I can see it that once you get to know somebody, that shyness goes away and the man of God that you are shines through you. I wish you good luck in finding your Cinderella and I know you will one day just as I to am looking for my Prince Charming.
Adam, a great blog post!
I hope that everything that you pray for in your “Cinderella” will be done in her life! God is longs and is getting someone very special for you! Who will love you for who you are and is not just ‘one’ of your ‘fangirls’ :P
God will bring her into your life at the right time so, just wait :)
May God bless you and may your relationship with Him ever grow stronger!
–Benjamin
I totally can sympathize!!! Deep regret has the really bad habit of smacking me on the back of the head when I least expect it!
And I totally agree about what “Hot” Has become, I sometimes think it is almost insulting!!!
Thanks for everything, I really needed to read this, especially the part about praying your your “Cinderella” I do, just not nearly often enough!!!
Your bro in Chirst, Isaiah
Adam,
My sister just introduced me to your blog a few weeks ago, and I get to be a bigger fan every time I read it. Thanks for sharing so candidly from your heart. As is evidenced from all the comments, God is using you to reach others in a crazy big way, and it is so encouraging to see you using that platform to glorify Him. Looking forward to becoming a regular reader!
P.S. Can you put Omaha on your tour list?? :D
don’t worry Adam, your Cinderella is out there somewhere. deep regret has a way in girls to. we see this really good looking guy and we get shy and not look at him and just ignore them. And i pray for my Prince Charming, but you inspired me to look and not just sit and wait. Thank you Adam. p.s. come to San Antonio, Texas U.S. on your next tour please!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. There are so many things I could thank you for. Your lovely emotions, sentiments, and nature. Your wonderful songs and words. The way you see women and respond to them. But really all of that is extraneous. Because what I really want to say is simple. Thank you.
adam your feelings seem to whirl around in my head and all i can muster is a pat on the back, well a long distance pat on the back :D
Adam- Your writing is astonishingly beautiful. I’m truly captivated by the way you can paint a vivid picture through such simple words.
Regret is a fickle little thing that seems to pace rather loudly in the back of your mind, always making you very aware of its presence, yet refusing to ever budge. The thing about regret is, it keeps our minds and our hearts in the past. While I know it is rather cliche, I truly do believe there is a reason for everything. We meet certain people, date certain people, only to prepare us for our Cinderella’s (of for myself, Prince Charming’s).
I think when that right person casually wonders in your life, there will be that moment of absolute certainty, where, like a song, all the words fit perfectly. And I think when you have that moment, no force of nature will hinder it from taking place, because like a child, you’ll simply reach out and grab it.
Never fancied yourself a terrible romantic, eh? ;)
Adam-
If she was smart, she was probably in as much deep regret for not noticing that you were looking at her. Any girl would be so lucky…
-Kristen
wow thats when you know your in love when you feel that feeling you had about that girl.
i only wish someone one day will feel that way for me.
and kristen is right any girl would be lucky to be your cinderella :)
-laurianna
I’m rooting for you. Deep Regret stands no chance against a man with confidence. :)
Adam, this comes from a 14 year old speaking, I truly hope I find someone that has a soft heart for Jesus like you. You inspire me to keep waiting for the man that God put on this earth just for me, and not lower my standards for what I think is love. I *truly* hope you find your Cinderella.
still waiting – Iris :)
You make girls feel pretty.
As I sit here reading this, my nose is running, my head is aching, my hair is disheveled, and I look like an overall mess. But this made me smile and sigh, and I don’t feel so bad.
You win :)
Your honesty is more beautiful than I can say. Thank you for writing this.
this is so beautiful.
also, i hope you read this bc it’s the first blog i’ve ever commented on, but i really felt the need to say that i greatly appreciated this post. it is so refreshing to know that there are guys that think the way you do. at times it is very discouraging to be a female and a part of this culture, but this post definitely gives me hope.
keep your head held high and your spirits up.
know what you believe and don’t shy away from it.
hello,
maybe it’s all about taylor swift or maybe i’m just wrong,in any case you just deserve the best,Adam,you so much better than john mayer and i am so glad you are against derogatory(really) “hot” adjective!
Walking in God’s will is such a blessing. He is so Sovereign and so good. It’s refreshing to rest in the knowledge that everything in this world was preordained. I’ve been praying for my future husband since I was thirteen. My deepest desire is to be fought for, to have someone love me in the way that they will not let me go. I truly feel that I will know without a doubt when God reveals him to me. Having convictions is a blessed burden — it’s difficult, and it hurts to be disappointed again & again, but it also weeds out the creeps. Convictions bless us with zealous, grateful hearts. Ultimately, we must always rest in the Father.
w.
I’m waiting for my Prince Charming–it’s such a blessing and encouragement to know there are guys out there waiting patiently for their Cinderellas.
Gee wiz whys everybody all like awwwwww and stuff.
Girls put thier pants on one leg at a time too.
Disgusting. Must be nice not to be in touch with reality…
Maybe im just a jaded 21 yr old guy … and this truly is a nice thing…
-Miserable person
Adam Young your work is absolutely breath taking. Once i start reading one of your posts i can’t get my eyes off of the computer screen.
I also admire how you gave your opinion on the word hot, and how men just abuse the word to its fullest. Sometimes i feel beautiful woman don’t get the respect they deserve, but you adam young, are different than all the other young men out there. You are thankful for Gods beautiful creations, and understand how precious all of us are.
I also respect the fact that you pray for her, that shows such great character in you. Thank the Lord for a guy like you, who is such a great success and and an incredible role model…Finally someone who is a christian, and i mean an actual christian..not a person who just says they are and doesn’t put their faith into action, into their daily lives with action and stamina. I respect you adam young, more than you’ll ever know.
God sure makes unbelievably beautiful things, doesn’t he?
Today, my best friend in the whole world mailed me a book with a short inscription that reminded me of one of the million reasons he’s my best friend. I love him so much and it reminds me of why I’ve been praying exactly the same kind of things you’re praying for Cinderella every single day. Praying for you, too, Adam. May we all find our satisfaction in Christ alone until the day He comes. :)
Hey Adam, me again, though you probably don’t know who I am or what I’m talking about.
I have posted on your blogs previously, and you probably have never seen any of my comments, but I hope this one at least reaches someone out there. When I was reading about not saying that hello, I thought of the following: as it turns out, I wrote a poem about that just the other day. I had seen someone I have never met, although I wasn’t attracted to them like that, but I had a strong feeling to say hello, but I never did, and I don’t know if I ever will. Here is the poem, and, like I already said, I hope someone in this wide world of ours will read it, maybe shed a tear over it, and, maybe, just maybe, someone’s life will change because of it.
I am no expert writer or anything, so don’t expect greatness or a moment of pure awe, but do expect honesty from my heart that wont stop beating.
“Sometimes”
Sometimes
I wish I would have said that one “Hello” before departing.
I wish I would have said one thing instead of another.
I wish I would have made the choice to stay.
I wish I could have had the courage to say “Yes” instead of “No.”
I wish I could figure it out and keep it to myself.
I wish I could find it.
I wish I could find it…
I wish I had.
Sometimes
I want to throw myself to the ground and say, “Enough.”
I want to say what I really feel instead of covering it up with something I don’t mean.
I want to.
I want to…
Sometimes,
Sometimes doesn’t work.
Sometimes I should say “Always” instead of “Sometimes.”
Sometimes
I should open the door to myself, and leave it open behind me, letting others in.
Sometimes,
I wish you felt the same way.
Believe.
~One who loves and hates, appreciates and forgets, and has desire to simply live,
Nicole.
Adam–you’re such, such a sweet guy. Girls search endlessly for a smudge of the sincerity in your feelings. Whoever is meant for you is truly blessed.
Keep praying, keep doing what you do, keep looking at life with the whimsy that you do. She’ll come when you least expect it!
Hugs from a fellow Minnesotan,
Allie
thanks for the new defination of DEEP REGRET,Adam!!!!!!!!This is such a beautiful and awesome blog you have written!!!!!Keep praying for her!!!!!lstay confident and one day you’ll have your love!!!!!!
your fellow indian fan
Agen
It’s remind me “La leggenda del pianista 1900(Giuseppe Tornatore)”. I’m not good at English, and not good at word. I don’t know how to describe my feeling. Sometime beautiul things are breathetaking. I coudn’t do anything but freeze. I feel sad. Same time I feel how I’m lucky. Cause, At last beautiful things are really exist.
I could just smile and smile and smile Adam! :)
It might lead to quite a few sleepless nights, but it makes for one great laugh when it’s all said and done.
Did you feel awesome knowing that she was in the crowd when you were playing? You should have identified her in the crowd (if you could) and then dedicated a song to her. But I guess you didn’t and that’s Deep Regret haha.
wow. that was so sweet.i was smiling the whole way through, and now my cheeks are hurting(thanks a lot :P).You always write the most amazing things. i hope some one is praying for me like you prayed for her…..when you find your Cinderella (and i know you will), just know that she is a real lucky girl, Adam. :)
Amy x
oh and i totally agree with your opinion of the word ‘hot’.
No, my friend.. You’ll probably never read this, but i have this terrible habit of speaking my mind whenever i get the chance to do so. That’s not Deep Regret.
I live in a small city in the Arctic circle far from Iowa where i was born, and I have had the chance to travel a lot, see new things, meet new ppl. But I’m 22 years old and I’ve always prayed that the Lord would give me the chance to do smth great, change lives, live outside the box like you.. I don’t see how I can do that.. It’s seems to me that every thing worth being done has already been done by someone more talented than I. It’s seems to me that every Christian man worth waiting for has already found their princesses.
Feeling left out, in the middle, wishing that you could just live up to your potential, not having the strength to change anything – that’s Deep Deep Regret..
But when the world SLAMS the door right in front of your worthless face leaving you with nothing and no one, faith thanks to the Love of our Saviour open a window and gives you wings to fly above all obstacles.
We just have to be patient..
Hope you find the Wife of your dreams, Adam! But don’t regret being shy. It’s a rare gift that helps you to wait for the Lord.
Love, Bethany
Oh, Adam! Thank goodness people like you are here to put these things into words for us!
I do feel deep regret, or a similar thing: one guy, perfectly amazing in every way, who I’ll never even meet. (If you’re wondering why, it’s cos he’s 11 years older than me, he’s a famous actor, and I have no idea where he would ever be. That sounds very strange put into words. Am I still sane?) So, every night, all I can do is wish and dream. I actually found him on Facebook, but couldn’t pluck up the courage to say hi. I spend every night wishing I could meet him; I even daydream about him at school. It nearly makes me cry, knowing I’ll never see him, speak to him, do all the things I wish I could :(
Well, now I’ve babbled enough!
Keep writing amazing blogs and producing amazing music Adam!
From me
(there’s no way I’m putting my name now I’ve said all that!!!)
Adam. Let me say, love is amazing. I would know–I’m deep in it. And love never EVER EVER EVEERRR (I cannot stress ever enough) happens if you do not TAKE A CHANCE. If you had stopped this girl in her tracks, looked at her truely and introduced yourself, one of two things could have happened: 1) She wasn’t intrested, so both your lives went back to EXACTLY the way they were, or 2) She actaually liked you too, and your relationship blossomed. So, you see, you would not have LOST. And I mean, you’re YOU. But I can understand you want a girl to love you because you aren’t Adam Young of Owl City. You want a girl to love you because you are Adam Young of Owatonna, MN. The shy, gentle-hearted, faithful guy who happens to be blessed with the opportunity of sharing his music with the world. And I just wish I knew you–as a good friend, so I could tell you this, that you will find your Cinderella. I promise. We all find our princess or prince and live “happily ever after”. And I can tell you that I’ve found my prince, he is amazing, and I know things are right. And you will find that person who makes you feel that way. I promise. Keep believing.
Love Always,
Cara
(Dedicated to my boyfriend, Evarist. I love you! <3)
This totally hits the nail on the head.
I really appreciated your honesty. You are a great writer! You may be waiting for your Cinderella but I am still waiting for my pirate.
Adam,
thanks again for another great blog post; it’s almost like I know you since you always reveal your feelings and desires here in this blog. I have to admit, at first I was wondering where you were going with the story, and I questioned the amount of time you spent describing the girl’s outward beauty. But then, I came to the part about your prayer for your future Cinderella, and it reminded me that relationships are not all about what you can recieve from them, but about genuinely caring for the other person’s well being, even if you haven’t met the person yet. Also, you described her as seeking the Lord first, which is definitely most important, even more so that what she looks like on the outside. Besides, we are all created in the Lord’s image, so despite what this society calls beautiful, we are all called beautiful in God’s eyes, since he is perfect and does not make mistakes. So there’s nothing wrong with appreciating the beauty in others, both inside and out. So thank you for that encouragement and reminder of what it means to have a relationship with Christ at the center. Also thank you for the reminder that this deep regret (which can be caused from many other things) can and will be defeated, because when we trust in God, we have no reason to fear. As you sang in your rendition of In Christ Alone, “no guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me.” I pray that we would all recognize this power we have from Christ and not be afraid to confront things like regret with the confidence that we will succeed. :)
[...] Deep Regret– Owl City Blog [...]
Adam, you a such a gentlemen. I love how you portray the woman. Love it! God Bless. =)
Very well-said Adam! Rom 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
God will bring “Cinderella” to you, just as He had brought Eve to Adam. :)
Adam,
This was such a sad story. The tought of meeting Deep Regret completely saddened me. Your story almost made me cry. I do hope you find your “Cinderella” someday. Hopefully you’ll reach her soon.
- Rachael K.
I was giggling over this blog in the middle of my Renaissance British literature class. I was probably just behaving such because I can picture it so perfectly in my mind. You have such beautiful imagery. We’ve all been there. I know a guy that shares your same namesake who experiences it frequently… usually with me right next to him…
If only he would feel that about me…
Anyways, you’ll find your special someone, Adam. Don’t rush it. It’ll all happen in our Father’s way and time. He’s there for you, and he’s watching out for you as you watch over many of his flock for him. You’re such an inspiration. Never change for the worst–we all know constancy is non-existent, and I would never wish to take your improvement away from you even if it was.
You probably won’t get the chance to read this, but I will comment anyway, due to my thoughts and my avid writing love.
True, to say the least, Deep Regret happens often, but everyone’s main thought is ‘what if he/she was the one?’ If he/she was, then God would clearly have let you cross paths and meet, rather than pass see each other and feel Deep Regret. Honestly, my thoughts on Deep Regret are that it’s not really worth it. If God wanted you to meet and you missed the opportunity, he’ll obviously give you another one.
Keep it up with encouragement and keep praying!
God Bless,
Angela
Adam, you have the most beautiful heart.
Praying for you. You inspire me. Your Cinderella will come soon. Here’s hoping my Prince will, too. As for now, we will eagerly wait and strive to grow closer in our relationship with our glorious King. :)
Danna
[...] not here to only sing Adam’s praises, though. My purpose today is to share with you one recent blog postthat really impacted me in a big way. Here he shares his personal experiences with meeting someone [...]
that was beautiful. please write a book, you are amazing lol
That was really nice :)
‘Allow me to pause for a moment simply to clarify that this was NOT a beastly, primal, overly-rugged masculine emotion that took hold of me. I did NOT slobber all over myself via lewd desire like some impudent, lustful, arrogant bro. I did NOT jump up and down and inwardly scream “Woah, that girl is hot!” because it is my personal opinion that the word “hot” has been weighed down by so many repulsive, disrespectful connotations (all thanks to modern media), that it has ultimately become a rather derogatory adjective with which to describe such pure and blameless beauty. It has a devious way of cheapening it and that tends to bug me. Deep Regret and the stunning quality of such unpolluted beauty is far too exquisite and innocent to be associated with such brash crudeness.’
I am SO glad that some males out there are sane. Your music seemed to indicate that from the start.
wow adam! it’s amazing how well I can relate to everything you say. I bet if we met we would have some good conversations, although I’m not nearly as good with words as you are. and I’m probably somewhat more of a dirtbag. every time deep regret happens to me (basically everyday) I’ll think of this blog and have a name to associate with the feeling. I also share your opinion of the word “hot” and what media does to corrupt society, but that’s something we’ll have to discuss if we ever meet in person.
I can’t wait to hear more from you. you may not think of yourself as a writer, but you’re definitely my favorite one.
I totally agree with your point on “hot”. I hate when guys treat girls as toys. Guys should respect girls.
Thanks!
Adam, I just want to say… you have a HUGE vocabulary!! :D
Made me smile!
I love your stories, you have a way to explain everything so great, sometimes I felt the same way :)
(xcuse my english ;) …)
seriously. this is the story of my life. but with guys. deep DEEP regret :(
Adam,
I really appreciate your courage in sharing this. This is probably rather presumptuous of me, but I’d like to humbly suggest a point of view to be considered. Genesis 2 speaks of the creation of Eve for Adam. Adam was similarly dumbfounded at the presentation of Eve as you describe. He said “Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh!” Either the weight of what he said doesn’t translate well, or this was the first incident of man blathering on in response to true and pure beauty.
However, before we get to the part where Adam (hah, it just sunk in that your name is Adam, too!) is expressing his joy and amazement at what God has just given Him, I have found it helpful to consider the series of events that led up to this momentous occasion. God showed Adam all the animals in the world and had him name them. But there was not a suitable helper to be found. This is the reason for Eve. God made Eve as a helper SUITABLE for Adam.
I would like to suggest that for you to find your Cinderella, you need to discover what it means for someone to be suitable for you. To what are you called? How do you work your faith out? What is the path, in general, God is calling you to walk? When you answer these questions (I’m not saying you have to know exactly what you are going to be doing the rest of your life, just an idea for the kinds of ways God has called you to serve Him), I think it will be helpful in understanding what suitable means for you.
When you discover what it means for someone to be suitable as your helper in following God’s call, from my understanding and experience the next step is to be pursuing God’s call. You will end up finding your Cinderella walking right next to you on your path. That is, you’ll be doing exactly what God has called you to, and she will be working toward a similar goal. Sure, you’ll need to someday face down Deep Regret and have the will to overcome being dumbfounded to talk to a girl, but until you know what you need most in obeying God’s call on your life, talking to a girl will be wandering along not paying attention to the path God has for you. If you lose sight of the path, you may leave it and encounter unpleasant results.
When I read your post, I thought, “you know, I used to feel that way, too, and I understand things so much better now. I had better at least present what I’ve learned to him in hopes it’ll help.” May it be that this is helpful. Press on, dear brother, and tire not of running the race God has called you to!
In Christ,
Josh
I didn’t know who you were until I stumbled across a link last night to the song “In christ alone” you recorded. Almost closed down the window.. but something kept me reading.
Yeah, God knew exactly what I needed to hear.
The way you explained how you pray for your future spouse made me tear up. It gave me a renewed hope that there really are solid, God-fearing men out there. And there is one for me too. Good thing we never really have to worry about missing an opportunity.. (“deal with deep regret”). God has His perfect plan and if we just walk in obedience and in crazy love for Him… He WILL make our paths straight and give us the desires of our hearts in His timing. He knows better, His ways are higher. Hallelujah father :’)
I don’t really know what else to say, Adam. Just thank you.
God bless your heart.
“This is where I swallow an overdose of optimism, leap out of my chair with my fist in the air, and shout from the rooftops at the top of my lungs, “Life must go on!” ”
Truth be told, I laughed so hard when I read that part. Probably because I understand that feeling.
There seem to be a lot of “what ifs” in life and sometimes getting past them is the hardest part of moving forward. Anything from job decisions to college applications, the lose of a loved one to relationships (or lack thereof) can often have us looking back far more than I think most of us would care to admit.
Wondering what would have happened if events had turned out differently, or if things would be different now, if we had said and done more. But I love that Jesus is Hope personified. He picks us up right where we are and He tells us, “I know the plans I have for you… a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11, paraphrased)
Life can throw curve balls and be crazy at times. But He’s still the Joy of my heart… and He offers that same Joy to anyone who even whispers for it.
Thanks for this, Adam. Thank you for letting people know they’re not alone… and moreover, reminding everyone of the relentless, transcending, overwhelming love of a God who will never leave nor forsake… even in our regrets.
I hope you find the Cinderella of your dreams!
It was truly refreshing to learn that I am not the only man who’s weakness is the fairer sex. There are countless times that I am struck by the same Stupid Hammer, even with girls that I know, and I clam up and whatever it is I want to say comes out broken, almost as if said by one using a teleprompter in a foreign language for the first time. I’ve noticed that time and time again, whenever a lady who has caught my eye is in question, all my attempts of my own design basically equate to negative progress. I just recently did battle with a rather nasty bit of loneliness, and there was a girl that I was actively pursuing. A previous post of yours, being “You Had Me At Hello”, really helped me there. It reminded me of the woman that God has planned for me out there somewhere, and I’ll meet her and it will fall into place in His own time. This post helped as well, not only in making me feel less alone in my ineptitude when dealing with women, but the end of the post, where you pray for your future wife, your Cinderella was particularly moving. It’s like the t-shirt says, “I’m loving my wife, even though I haven’t met her yet”. Much love to you, brother, and I pray that you and I will be open to and willing for God’s will in our lives concerning our life partners and all other aspects.
This blog seriously made my night. It’s comforting to know that guys do pray and wait for their future wives. The current condition of our culture makes it seem like a lot of guys care nothing about a woman’s inner beauty and only go for whatever is sexy and hot (which no single woman really wants to be called to begin with ).
Like all the other people who’ve posted, I’ve had my own moments of deep regret, but in the end it has done nothing but build me up and make me stronger (especially when the guys I once regretted not talking to turned out to be shallow and awful lol). So, in the end, this blog has given me additional hope in my future and what it has in store. Thank you so much for posting! :) God bless ya!
I always admired everything that you say, but can frankly tell you, I don’t know Owl City Very well… I’m from South America, and it’s hard to understand English at first time. So, reading and reading this post I really understood it, and I think it’s so beautiful. Thanx Adam, for doing what you do and wondering me while I am only twelve years old :*
You impress me, Adam Young. You have such a wonderful way with words. My 12-year-old daughter first introduced me to your music, and now my whole family loves it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, and for sharing your faith. There aren’t many secular artists out there willing to do that. Your music and your faith blesses us.
Wonderful blog, really makes you think about things.
And hey, we have the same second name, maybe we’re related eh? hehe
But I doubt it, I’m from England anyway. Keep up the great blogs!
Am I the only one that does not own a bible? I didn’t know people would memorize them. Anyone have a straberry avalanche? I feel weird now. All I’ve got for you is to keep beliving on God and He would eventually … repay… no wait that’s not right. Oh! Yeah I’ve got one now every dark cloud has a silver lining! If you belive in that and be optimistic as the Doctor, whenever he is in a trap and sends aliens runnin’, you’ll get through anything!
I hope & pray 4 u
xoxo K.T.
I’ve felt Deep Regret a few times before. And, man, does it bite!
Just few months ago, I met this cute intern who worked couple a months for my mom’s boyfriend. He’s a shy guy, and I’m no better there. So, we were sent out to buy pizza somewhere nearby my place. Waiting for the pizza to be done was awkward. We tried to talk, but ended up w/ long pauses. That was ridiculous. I keep on thinking for days ‘What if we’d talked more?’, ‘Is he really that shy?’, ‘Did I say something wrong?’
Later I found out that he mentioned me few times to mom’s boyfriend, and was looking for me, when I was out of town.
He’s now back in Holland. I got his facebook, though, before he left. Even on facebook he’s shy.
i’ve felt that way before… but then i think well, if its really supposed to happen, maybe ill see that person again, and maybe… i won’t. While typing this i just noticed that the song “you’re beautiful” is a perfect example. However, another song that can help remind to pray that we do do something is “give me your eyes” by brandon heath. But i know that no matter what i happen to regret, god is with me. And if i stray from the path… he’ll reveal a hidden trail…
Ok this is going to sound STUPID when I say this but, epic post. I am a girl and I am not pretty c(^: Anyway, only you would come up with such true, amazing, random, EPIC, blog posts. As awesome as you are, I always love the inspiration in your songs and blog posts :^) .
♥Elleanna Martinez
I am a Cinderella in waiting, & I’m so glad that the Prince Charming’s of the world are anxiously awaiting their Cinderella just as much as we are them.
I am just one of the victims of deep regret. Thought I was the only one! Apparently not :P
How cute. (: gives me some hope that there are some good God-seeking gentlemen out there somewhere.
What would you say if I told you I’ve been experiencing Deep Regret for the past two years now… over the same person?
Seriously. Thanks for being honest. I couldn’t write something out like this for fear that I would be ‘exposed’… but who knows, one day I’ll have the freedom to scream it.
You’re an inspiration Adam. You really are. I love how you pray for this girl you only saw once, and you pray honestly and fervently. Would that all guys had your heart… <3
Brilliant, Adam.
Thanks for describing this so perfectly. This was a post for all time.
Unforgettable analogy: “the duel.” :-) Love it!
-Alasdair
This took so much to put this up!
Thank you for showing how u feel and i hope that this cinderella will benefit from ur prayers! God plans everything for us! :)
Joanne
:)
You are so cute. Adam, I’d kill for a guy like you. Forget those vain rockstar guys that modern girls dream about, I’d rather have a sweet, shy guy any day. I only wish there were more guys like you in the world.
Love you! <3 <3 <3
Seriously, what an honor to read. I think I’ve met two young men in my life who don’t think of women as a piece of meat. MET, being the keyword… I’ve unfortunately had all sorts of men hitting on me (in normal, public places), drunk men, men who, when I shoot them down, ask me if I have a sister… I had one guy downright try to pet my face… Hahaha, awkward!
It’s just a little disheartening that good guys who would actually treat a woman nice don’t speak up, but the oh-look-meat! types of guys do, in full force.
Then again, I guess not getting hit on is part of the charm… Good job at the respect, bro, and don’t lower your standards! Strength will rise as we will wait upon the Lord, ne~!
Oh, and in case you find yourself in the right sitation, best line ever, I highly recommend it. “Hey, Miss? Look, I don’t mean to brag, but… I’m Batman.”
INSTANT SUCCESS.
I’m in complete agreement with Hmm. The girl you wrote about then, and apparently continue to think/write about is a minor, rendering this whole situation bordering on inappropriate at best. Hmm also made a good point when they observed that there may be a real person in your life one day who won’t exactly benefit from the idea that you considered another person to be your “Cinderella,” no matter how flighty the sentiment may seem now.
One more thing: It’s nice to know that you are apparently capable of falling in love with someone based solely on their physical appearance. I’m sure this is just the kind of message your (primarily young, female) audience needs to hear. I guess it really is true, what Hollywood tells them/us; looks first, all else last. At least, that’s what you’ve said here. Thank you?
I hope I’m not coming off as cruel here, but I do mean to be serious, even if it sounds harsh. If you (Adam Young) ever actually read this (unlikely…): I sincerely enjoy many of your blog posts, and I adore your music, but sometimes I think it would help you to remember that words cannot be taken back, especially when they are spoken in front of so large an audience, and that maybe sometimes you should choose yours more carefully.
Here is Hmm’s comment, by the way: http://owlcityblog.com/2010/11/08/deep-regret/#comment-59832
Zac Brown Band – As She’s Walking Away
Perfect articulation of every man’s inevitable battle in those amazing yet terrifying moments where you see true beauty but only feel your own inadequacies. Love the description of the perfect woman too!
hey adam….
i think its true guys go through alot more than girls do but us girls wait for you guys to talk to us and sometimes its one hell of a wait….
but in the end i guess it becomes worth it….
i love how you love God and appreciate him…..its really awesome
@ the last entry (huskies),
That’s funny- I did the same thing / @ the same OHS. I went to the computer labs to exclude myself from sitting at the lunch tables. I’m the class of ’03/’04 technically, so you probably took over my tradition.
I figured the main reason for taking so long to perform back home was due to ‘stage fright’ of knowing your audience. It’s easy to be held back by which you filled your shoes in, especially in high school.
I wish I had your faith. May God bless you for yours.
If i can aspire to be half the writer you are, i will feel accomplished. I love the way you phrase certain things, your choice of words, and your ability to explain things to where the reader can easlily paint the picture of what is going on. Thank you for being a light in such a dark time for music. Thank you for showing that not all musicians who “make it” have to conform to the way that culture has dictated. Thank you for staying strong to what you believe and thank you for the inspiration that you consciously or perhaps even sub-consciously give.
In Christ,
Ian Harris
I had butterflies that whole time :)
Dear Adam,
I am guessing that you probably won’t see this but then again you might. I wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your blog. Not only do your whitty comments make me laugh but I have also been very encouraged by your entires. This one has been one of the very encouraging ones. I really appreciate that you live your faith so openly and that you already love your future wife so deeply. I often pray for my future husband but so many people tell me that there is no one left in the world who is waiting and praying for God’s timing. So I thought you would like to hear that I was moved to tears and greatly strengthened and encouraged in my faith and in waiting for God’s perfect timing. YOu proved that there is at least one guy out there who thinks like this so there are probably others as well. Thank you!
Your sister in Christ,
~Elizabeth
P.S. I really enjoyed your cover of In Christ Alone that is my absolute favorite praise song and it moves me to tears whenever I sing it/hear it :)
Dear Adam, This is really cool and takes a lot of guts to pour your heart out. It is so encouraging to hear this coming from an artist that I listen to regularly. I really felt like I was able to connect with you on many levels. I encourage you to continue to keep up the good work, and keep the blog posts coming! I really enjoy reading what you have to say. I guess I am more partial because I’m from the Twin City’s area and probably know some of the same people. I’m praying for you!
-Nate
That’s sweet! I really enjoy reading your blog entries, they’re fun and since your a Christian too it makes it so nice to read! =D
I think everyone has had a deep regret or two in their lifetime; if not, then one *will* come. (zones out for a second as the memory of a deep regret at the pool comes to mind). I think everyone will find love at some point or another, though I am skeptical on whether it will last… I’ve been around a lot of people who thought they found true love, only to find out that their partner has cheated on them or has left for someone else that they have been infatuated (great word, love it!) with. Which brings me to the conclusion that I do not believe in true love, except for God, that is, because He will love you forevermore (another great word, thanks Poe!)… Which reminds me, paragraph 16: “She is out there. My Cinderella. She is real. She exists. I pray for her constantly. May God satisfy the desires of her heart, draw her close, consume her. May He claim her passions, her identity, her refuge, her hopes, her strengths and weaknesses, every fiber of her being. May she treasure and cherish her Savior more than anything of this world and cling to His will with every ounce of her stamina. By all that she is, does, and strives to be, may He draw near to her and she to Him.”, that, my friends whom I do not know, is *epically* deep!! Job well done Adam! You are awesome-sauce!!! XD
Emma(Aurthur, England, Iggy( please don’t call me Iggy!), Emizzle, #18)
everyone has deep regret in life but sometimes it is really really painfull.
I’ll say no more but one thing,
It took alot of courage to write that and If I were to write a blog on deep regret,
I would probably mark it as private
Thumbs Up!!!
I really agree with your statement that hot is overused/abused. Also, you really got to me with stating that you pray for your future wife. That you pray that she will be utterly absorbed by, part of, God. I just hope that the man God has for me is praying for me, as I’m praying for him.
I understand that you may have been quite the shy guy when you were a mere high schooler, Adam, but at the point you are at now, I find it immensely hard to believe that someone of your accomplishments would have any trouble wooing your own Cinderella into your heart. You have the confidence of singing out and dancing in front of thousands of people each and every show, all you need to do is harness that energy into some conversation with the one you may know is the one, and I know she will fall so fast for you she might need a parachute. You are the most artistic and creative d00d I’ve ever known of. Any lady would be lucky beyond expression to be with a gentleman like yourself.
As long as you will create music, I will be here to support you and be inspired by you.
God bless,
Kyle Adam
oh my god. I really know exactly what you’re saying but the regret was even deeper for me cause the girl actually approached me and I was just like totally speechless and too nervous to say anythything with more than one syllabel.
My goodness. The ways God will use you. I especially enjoyed the paragraph starting with “She is out there. My Cinderella.”.. Perhaps there are some guys out there that understand, after all.
Allegra Joy.
Dood I think wikipedia is stalking you cuz it has your most personal info on it like the extremely short summary saying” Young admitted on his blog that he finds socializing with females a challenge, after having difficulty talking to a girl at one of his concerts.” it is just so weird to see that there on a page. Somehow I find it rather insulting eveen though it’s about you. P.S if you have fabreeze scented fake pyramid shaped tea lights don’t get the snowman one if you keep it at a distance less than 3 feet brcoause that thing smells sooo sweet it’s making me sort of nausious but it does have a good smell. I hope I can find a pumpkin spice like one cause I like my spice in smell and flavour.
hello,
You are really an amazing person… how I wish you’d come across that girl again. I admit I actually feel jealous with the girl you talked about in your blog. if she only know who are you or she’ll notice that you are someone special it might make a difference… How heartwarming …how you say prayer for a girl you a just meet on the road. If I’ll imagine it… How much more if you’ll really be with her and she would also feel the same…haaah… how sweet…
I hope some guy out there would also feel that DEEP REGRET when I pass by… haah…
— I am looking forward for your next visit here in the Philippines—
your dreamy fan,
Gev
For such an instantaneous, almost subconscious reaction, you summed up all the emotions beautifully. Some lucky girl will one day read this and you can tell her you have no regrets. My husband and I, two very shy & awkward people, eventually went from talks over coffee to drinking massive amounts of coffee together in the morning so we could survive the day with our three young kids. God has blessed our marriage immensely because we do (and did) pray for each other. Thank you so much for this post. I love your music, and this little post makes me enjoy it that much more.
Hey, Adam, do you want to know a secret? I’m not sure that this is the best place in the world to post this… lol but you are a seriously good storyteller. If you wrote a book or something, I would read it. It would probably be just as good as your music. You are very descriptive, and I think that you are a REALLY good storyteller! LOL :):):)
<3Ash
u r a candle light in my life
Ob-la-di Ob-la-da.
This brought those kind of tears to my eyes that just hover there waiting to actually escape.
The type you can harvest with your fingertips and transfer to surfaces that don’t agree with water, such as paper and material.
The fun kind.
Just a beautiful post.
Mr. Adam Young,
I always learn new words when I read your thoughts. Does anyone else?
awww Adam..I’m sure that though the Deep Regret might have melted your heart to the extent of taking away all the courage you would usually have, only to make u feel weak in the knees and blessed at that moment.
loved what you wrote, each word of it. IF only guys like you whp write so wonderfully and think so beautifully exist, trust me,the fantasies which all the beautiful gals have would turn into a REALITY.
love
aakriti..
PS: can i not follow ur blog?? I realllllllllllllllly want to!!
pls rply
so for those of you wondering…I was at the Houston show. This is about the girl in the blue dress. Everyone who was at the Houston show, watching Owl City knows about the girl int he blue dress.
He announced on STAGE to everyone about his encounter with the girl in the blue dress. I’m not going to lie, I kinda thought it was a stage bit that they did…hopeless romantic stuff, you know?
After leaving the show I really didn’t think anything about it. Soon after I began following OwlCity on twitter. He again, posted to everyone on twitter about the girl in the BLUE DRESS.
Well…the girl in the blue dress somehow knew she was “the one” and just so happened to be following him on twitter and just so happened to see these very tweets to her. She immediately called out to him. She told him SHE WAS THE ONE. And, she was the one. So now, everyone on twitter knew she was the one. He told her she was pretty. She thanked him. he apologized for embarasing her. she said it was no problem.
Sorry but I don’t know if they fell in love and lived happily ever after.
That was sweet.
I wonder what God is ploting for you. He possibly might be laughing right now.
Truly awesome dude. I have to be honest, when I first hear your stuff on the radio I really did not care for it. That’s not to say that you’re a bad musician or anything, your music just isn’t akin to my tastes. You see, I generally view the techno-y auto-tune stuff as only something that untalented people use to “make it” in the music world. I am dead wrong. I still believe this to be the case with many musicians, but you by no means make that list.
I stumbled upon your blog today, driven by curiosity, after I heard about something you posted about the song “In Christ Alone” on a radio station called Air1. After reading these words you’ve posted from your heart I’ve been given a glimpse into your character, into who you are, and I can tell that you’ve let God do some truly awesome things with your heart (and are continuing to be changed). God’s given you the ability and opportunities to do some truly awesome things and I’m looking forward to where you’ll be going from here.
This world needs some more guys like you. I’ll be praying that you’ll be able to continue to make that happen. Oh, and I’m sure I’ll find myself downloading some of your music in the near future too :]
God Bless
I don’t think I breathed at all while reading this! I hope I marry someone like you one day :) And I’m sure you’ll see her again – God is just…amazing like that!
i have no idea if you actually read these- going through all the posts would be a daunting task in my mind. but for what its worth, i think (like many others) that you are inspiring. your music has power- you are extremley talented.
i was wondering if there were any good guys out there, and then you write this beautiful entry about how bright this girl shown when she was just walking down the street… you give me hope. its really nice to know that a celebrity like you loves God with all your heart.
i know that God will present you with the opportunity to meet the woman you pray for. you deserve it.
This is amazing! I was beginning to lose hope that guys like you are out there. I pray that the Lord has in store for me someone that has a heart like yours. I know the Lord will bless you with an amazing woman that is absolutely beautiful on the inside and out. I am praying for you! The Lord spoke to me so clearly through this and through you. Thank you!
Wow that takes a lot to write about that.. it’s really beautiful. If only all men thought about and respected women the way you do!
But I know how you’re feeling, I’m waiting for my prince..
I pray for him every day, hoping it’s the person I want him to be, hoping I’ll have the guts to talk to him, and hoping he’ll see that I have feelings for him. I felt Deep Regret when I met the person I’m hoping will be my future prince, he’s perfect for me in every way I can think of. I only got to see him for one day, the day I met him. But I wish that I would’ve talked to him more than I did..I’m shy too so it’s really hard. I know I’ll see him again, so I have hope. I just really hope he has a heart as sweet as your’s!
Amazing blog, as usual~ <3
Adam!! You are soo sweet!!<3 I really do hope you find your real Cinderella someday. You deserve someone as perfect as you are.
Your the other half of my heart Adam, you rock<3
-Taylor
Adam,
I can not tell you how encouraging it is to read this. Your ideas are so amazing and I love how you honor God the way you do. Not many singers today are as open as you are about your faith. I hope you find your Cinderella and I will be praying that you do. Thank you for all that you do for Our Savior.
~Emma
Hearing you talk about Cinderella day dreams while flying to Japan reminded me a little of my last flight. No I didn’t come across some dashing gentleman; that’s not really my type anyways. ha. I simply watched a great inflight movie: The Young Victoria. Have you seen it? If not, it’s a must. I’m usually not a fan of Princes and Princesses, but there was something trully special about this movie. It was a true romance in which, dare I say it, true love was found.
You know Adam Young, as much as you seem like a great guy and I love your music, this is disrespectful. I understand that guys can feel sick when they see someone pretty, but thats not what matters. You seem to be saying that you have deep regret cause you saw soemone pretty. You know, physic is nothing, how do you think ‘average’ looking girls feel. Just cause you feel happy for a second inside means nothing. Not all guys feel that way when they even meet the love of their life. You make it sound so Ok, but it’s not. And don’t worry God knows your futur. Put it in his hands. If you are meant to have a wife God will bring her to you. Your music is so positive, you have an amazing way of making something simple into something beautiful. But women are not objects. They have a personality. These pretty girls you’ve seen are outside images, you have no way of knowing how they are inside.
Sorry, I just wanted to make you thing about it. Don’t get me wrong, I think your awsome ( Paris concert was awsome)!
I really hope you read this =)
Good luck,
Amy
You are wrong. Deep regret is not something based on appearances or looks. It is something based on love, and those that are loved. I am experiencing it firsthand. Deep regret is to love someone dearly, but know that they can never feel the same way. To know that you do not have the courage to tell them how you really feel. To know that you are too much of a coward to tell them. That, my friend, is deep regret.
i want to pray that prayer you have for her but i want to pray it for myself… for my heart and life every day i wake up
Adam,
I’m glad to know it’s not just me who suddenly finds himself weak in the knees, and has sudden problems using mouth, hands, arms, or legs for anything other than pointless babbling at times like those. I guess we’ve all felt deep regret, and it isn’t just normal teenage dudes like me, but awesome stars like you!
The part about girls being “hot” -shudders- made so much sense to me. Finally, someone who agrees!
Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure God sent me this blog to get me to pray for my princess (sadly still to meet her), because I’ve never really prayed for her. I am now though!!
Don’t give up man, that girl WILL arrive! It feels wrong to quote a Micheal Buble song here but he has the perfect line, “you’ll come out of nowhere and into my life!”
Praying for you!!
Sirius (yes thats my real name!)
WoW!! Amazing… When I read this post, I totally connected with how you feel. I too suffer with the so called “Deep Regret”… I too crave for my Cinderella. I see her almost every day for last 5 months but still can’t seem to have enough courage to go and at least say hello to her.. I literally cry my eyes out & blow my brains off thinking about her when i’m alone.. I pray to god everyday for her wellbeing… But alas, she don’t even know I exist… :(
I hope you get your Cinderella pretty soon… :)
This whole thing was amazing. I couldn’t stop smiling. I hope my future prince is praying for me! I know I pray for him all the time! This was sweet and encouraging.
God bless~
Girls get mauled by Deep Regret too.
Adam,
Thank you so much for giving us shy, day-dreaming girls hope: there really ARE romantic guys out there! And even the most awesome ones, w/ no need to even question approaching a girl, feel the same deep regret that we do all the time. I’m so glad that our love lives are in such capable hands; I’m not sure I’d trust anyone but God w/ mine ;) Keep looking for your Cinderella! As amazing as you are, I’m sure that He has someone equally amazing, just waiting for you to approach her :)
-Katie
“Tonight I’m in a dream, lost in another place where everything is clear, but I still cant see your face. I’m searching, I’m waiting; every breath anticipating what this may someday be. I’m praying, I’m asking for a love that’s everlasting. Are you searching for me? Someone to love, someone to talk to; someone who feels the same way that I do; somewhere, someone who…loves me, too.”-”Someone”-3Union—>thought these lyrics fit this situation pretty well :)
To inform you, females also experience deep regret…
I met a boy so entrancing, so wonderful, so unusual, and I had to pick my jaw up off the pavement.
But I said hello. And he said hello back.. And one day I let him go.
Deep Regret, my friends!
OMG. absolutely enjoyed this! :D
Love your writing and how you described Deep Regret.
God bless ya mate. :)
x
Man, I support you. You inspire me, and I’m a married guy with an ex-wife out there raising one of my children. One piece of advice for you: Don’t think a girl is better than you unless she really is. It sounds like you’ve got a pretty good sense of that, but just be careful because some of them will take advantage of you if you are not careful.
There is nothing wrong with being attracted to the opposite sex. Maybe it was the Lord’s way of telling Adam to cool his jets that he didn’t approach the girl if she really was only 17. Maybe she’ll grow up and know that she is lovely because someone nice like Adam was impressed by her. Maybe whomever Adam marries someday is woman enough to realize that she’s not the only beautiful woman in the world and thank God that Adam was able to choose her from amongst them all.
[...] the girl that takes my breath away, or as Adam Young (aka Owl City aka Sky Sailing) calls it – deep regret. But after a dysfunctional relationship, a couple of failed attempts at dating, and being 5 hours [...]
that was amazing and inspiring.
I think it’s absolutely beautiful how you pray for your future wife and know she is out there, and that you pray that she’ll love her savior more than anything.
I can tell you truly respect women and will cherish the wife you will someday grow old with.
I hope she is everything that you dream about and more. though, knowing our Father, He would never give you any less =)
God bless <3
Be the person you want to fall in love with.
Know that even when she isn’t there her qualities surround your life.
Adam Young,
I am officially impressed with your writing skills. This entry made me smile, not because of pity or anything else, but because you believe that somewhere out there, there is the perfect girl for you. You are not the only one to feel Deep Regret. (by the way, I also really liked how you described the word “hot”- I totally agree with you.)
Adam Young,
This may sound completely corny but i think you have an amazing way with words I am truly jealous of you because I am a poet/aspiring singer song writer who completely fails when it comes to writing the rite words. I have yet to experience Deep Regret, in the sense of seeing a guy and being speechless, but I have experienced my own special kind of longing or “what would have happened?” but then again so has everyone. Even though I can’t entirely connect to your story I think it is an amazing/important one to tell and let the world know.
P.S. Pleas excuse the bad spelling I hope I corrected the rite errors the rite way haha sorry.
Adam, I absolutely love the way you worded this blog. I have yet at this point in life to muster the courage it takes to start conversations with an attractive girl. I also appreciate your description of females, the vocabulary of the modern world is indeed cheapening, and above all I appreciate your love and convictions for the Holy and Almighty God of heaven; I too thank Him for his infinite wisdom, grace, and mercy. Also in regard to your blog about what life would be had things gone differently; I find myself spending car rides and solitary walks wishing for different outcomes, but my finite mind does not begin to see where all roads end. Thank you for your good example, your fantastic words of encouragement, and your rare love and praise for the good Lord, thx man, look forward to hearing more of your incredible music.
Adam,
Never ever give up…I heard a wonderful sermon at church yesterday – The congregation was asked to think about what we seek in life. What’s that thing in your heart that you want more than anything and are searching for with all your might? I’ll let you in on mine: a marriage that will satisfy God and fulfill my life. Then the pastor said that the only way to find that which we seek is to let it go and seek Christ with all of that energy. Only then will dream become reality. No, it’s not going to be easy. But what a relief to know that God will let it happen when it’s supposed to…No more wondering where or when we’ll meet him/her, no more lonely nights, no more thoughts of inadequecy. He vaporizes that pressure and fear of the unknown – It will all fall into place when He drops the pieces. You’ll find your puzzle piece when you least expect it, but in the meantime, you will be developing the ULTIMATE relationship with God.
Thank you for posting this and for your beautiful words…They are music even when read silently from a computer screen.
-Carrie
Dear Adam,
Wow.. when i read this i was just smiling like a child on Christmas morning. Oh! and good luck in finding your Cinderella =) Thank you, a million times over, for posting this. I’ve been floating in and out of different realities that have all been a product of my overly-active imagination; the final paragraph of your blog anchored me to the ground, and I have a shining, new ambition in my heart. It renewed and replenished my stores of hope, happiness, joy, love, and all those wonderful things.
I cannot thank you enough,
-Aurora Noel
Adam,
Since you are so ethereal yourself, knowing you can feel these emotions about a homely stranger makes me feel a little better. Horrible, yet dishearteningly true.
i find that deep regret can truely be a beautifully haunting experience… you never truely get over it.
my favourite quote in this section is your quote about hot being derrogative. helping ead a small group stufy of the book “authentic beauty”, this quote really hit home and i plan on sharing it with all the girls in the group
god bless
hannah
I was at the concert in Houston. When you talked about the girl in the blue dress, i laughed. But then now that I read this, I see that you were serious. I hope you find your Cinderella, Adam.
Love your biggest fan, Adriana
Never heard the term ‘Deep Regret’, but that totally describes the feeling one gets when their eyes settle on that someone that they instantly fall in love with. And trust me, even us girls have the same problem of not being able to even say ‘hello’ to a guy when it happens to us.
I’ve had the experience before (sure, I’m only 15, but I know the kind of guy I want to eventually marry.). The first time I saw him, I just stood there like an idiot. I kicked myself each time I thought of it. But then, a year later, I happened to run into him again. I guess you could say my little brother helped me clear my mind enough to speak to him. When I did speak to him, it was an awkwardly mumbled ‘Uh… hi’. Not that brilliant. This ‘someone’ simply smiled at me and said ‘hi’ back. And I find ot that often, once you get yourself passed that first, awkwardly, pathetic-sounding word, it gets a lot more easier. I ended up talking with the guy for a least ten minutes… grinnig like an idiot the entire time. I was about seven or eight months before I happened to see him again, and of course, it was awkward again. Sure, the guy didnt exactly remember me, at leas not that I could tell, but since I had talked to him before, it wasn’t too entirely awkward.
My parents have taught me to pray daily for my friends, my family, my enemies, and my future husband. Ever since I first met this ‘someone’ i speak of, I have often found myself praying for him and his entire family. I often find myself praying that if it be the Lord’s will, I could one day at least get to know this young man better.
So i guess the whole point of my whole, extremendously long, drawn-out, midnight-thirty ramble would be: It’s awkward for all of us, but just remember: if God wants you to meet that person, and get to know them, it’ll happen. If not, then trust Him, and quite thinking about that other person. And after all, if you get up enough bravery, and do saythat awkward ‘uh… hi’ then it’ll come easier after that. ;)
Hannah
Isaiah 40:31
That is so awesome! You are so talented, and obviously love your Savior. I’m sure God has a wonderful match for you somewhere, as I hope he has the right man for me too. =) Just keep waiting, she will be SO worth it!
Adam Young,
You are just so sweet!
I had felt that Deep Regret too…
I was so speechless when I saw him (my Prince Charming). I felt butterflies in my stomach and my heart raced when we passed by. When he looked at me I was so shy, happy and nervous….,yeah…,unlike you,, we both looked at each other…and somehow I know he felt the same way about me….I can tell by the way he looked at me with his gentle eyes….as if he wanted to said something but he couldn’t….We just glanced at each other without saying anything at all….I even couldn’t smile at him….He’s so charming…He swept me of my feet…..Whew, It really made my day! At Night, I couldn’t stop thinking about him….But I don’t know him and when I’ll ever meet him again. And suddenly I realized that the moment has passed…..then there I was lying at my bed… feeling Deep Regret….wondering what ifs…. And then I realized that maybe God has a bigger plan for me, a beautiful plan…. So instead of feeling Deep Regret, I moved on and prayed for my Prince Charming so that God always bless him and protect him. And if possible, let the two of us meet again. But until today, I’ll never meet him again. Now, I don’t feel Deep Regret anymore….Because I put my faith In Jesus Christ. I believe that Jesus Loves Me, and knows what’s best for me. Jesus gives us what we needs not what we wants… I believe that God someday would meet me the guy that suits me the best…until then, I just wait for the right time to meet my prince charming and keep my faith in Jesus Christ. Therefore, I want to pray for Adam Young, so that Adam can meet his perfect cinderella that God has already planned out for him, so they can live happily ever after. Amen.
God Bless.
- Melissa -
Ashley, I can’t agree . Not every pretty girl that walks by Adam is not the love of his life. There is one. Those are just pretty girls. You don’t get love at first sight every day. And maybe not even once. I think he should stop looking for the pretty ones and look for the good ones. And the right one will be both for him. It will not be some crush. It will be deeper and stable. Please don’t say I’m wrong. It can be debated.
wow Adam! this definitely made my day. as a 16 year old girl who has determinedly placed her heart in God’s hands, it has become relatively discouraging for me to feel like most guys in the world have given up the wait, and it’s really encouraging to hear that you haven’t given up! God has the best timing, even when we don’t think so. so please, PLEASE keep waiting and praying. I know I am.
wow. this completely covered it. i hope one day you can meet the right person. i think you deserve it. i have always wanted to meet you, adam, because you are such an inspiration to me. im sure you might get this a lot, but i think you have one of the most beautiful and flawless voices out there. i could listen to your music all day and it’s nice to hear you sing songs directly about god. i think you should sing those more. i have a hard time with a boy i like. he’s a mormon and i have a rule that i wont date anyone who’s not a christian. it’s a hard thing especially because he doesnt have any feelings back. but i understand this. he is one of the most beautiful people in the world to me. maybe beautiful for a boy is a little absurd but thats the first thing i think when i see him.
even if we all have a crush on someone, it really is funny and reassuring to know that there is someone somewhere living there life like a normal person and having the same doubts as you or i and one day, that person will be my husband. it seems funny to know that he will be waiting for someone like me and one day we will be together.
anyway, i just wanted to comment and let you know how reassuring and helpful blogs like this are. thanks for the reassurance.
~alyssa b h
Adam,
Whoever that Cinderella may be, she’s sharing the same deep regret that she didn’t take time to glance at you. I think she knew you were looking at her.(That is based from a totally basic girl behavior. Not me but a particular person I know.)
Thank you for posting this Adam. Coming from the other side of it, as a girl I sometimes forget that there are boys like you out there. Good Christian boys who _are_ actually waiting for us Cinderellas. On those days, when I’m the only girl in my class wearing a decent amount of fabric and the boys around me seem far too occupied with the over-exposed figures of the other girls to notice me, it can be hard to remember that I am somebody’s Cinderella and that someday he’ll see me, overcome his Deep Regret and speak to me. But on days like that I just immerse myself in Christ, who always sees me, always knows I’m beautiful, and remember this motto: “A girl should be so lost in God, a guy needs to seek Him to find her.” May God help you find your Cinderella, Adam, cause she’s waiting for you.
Same thing here. Being a shy 16-year-old girl, this happens to me all the time. In fact, I experienced some “Deep Regret” today. Onetime I met a boy that was from my school at one of my church activities. He came up and said hi to me, so I decided to talk to him for a little bit. He was very nice, but we didn’t talk for long. I thought about him for a little while after that, and I hoped that I would get to talk to him again someday. But a year has passed eversince we had that one conversation, and lately I haven’t said anything to him. Today I saw him…holding hands with another girl. At that same moment, the “Deep Regret” stabbed me in the back and a cloud of “what ifs” began to fog up my brain. So as I type this, the “Deep Regret” has worn off a bit, but it still stings. But thanks to your (amazing :D) blog, I’m reminded that there is an AMAZING God who takes care of all of my problems, including that said “Regret.”I also believe that He has a special guy for my future, and a special lady for this other guy’s future. And if that girl who held his hand today is the one, then I think he really deserves her. So, the moral of the story all comes down to this: if we all put our faith and trust in the Lord, we can defeat this “Deep Regret” together.
Wow, you are a really good writer!
I think we’ve all experienced this at one point or another, I know I have.
A note of encouragement to all the guys out there, dont be afraid of talking to the girl! She’ll probably take it as a huge compliment and will do her best to make you not look stupid.
Thankfully the Lord has it all taken care of and if we walk in faith he’ll take us where he wants us to be and with the person he wants us to be with.
Wow. You never cease to amaze me. I know you will probably never read this, but I so feel the need to write this. First off just something random, I as well am from Minnesota. Background: I refused to listen to your music for the longest time, but when I did…I liked it. I work at Trout Lake Camps and Owl City Remix became the kitchen dance song, many other Owl City songs were also played!
Anyway back on track. I appreciate you. You are considered a mainstream artist, adored by tons of people around the world. Yet you are as bold as not only to say you are a Christian, but actually show it and live it out. That sets you apart which I value in you. You are such an amazing influence to people around the world.
I am so glad you took the time to write a blog about valuing women and your future wife. In everything you do, through all your songs about love, you never demean it. You portray respectful love. I also like how you are praying for your future spouse, that is very important to do.
I just thought I’d take the time to let you know how touched I am by all you do and standing up for your faith!
Clarification on above comment: Hello Seattle Remix
alas, deep regret has found me too. i actually read this post a while ago, but it happened to me today, all i could think about was this article ( and the girl of course ) she was perfect. her hair. her eyes. her smile. her face. her clothes. her everything was just…. so…. absolutely stunning. i stared at her for soooooooo long in disbelief that anything could possibly be so beautiful. and once she looked back and all of my insides rushed down to my feet and back up. she was just that amazing. words cant describe her. perfect doesn’t even cut it. she was absolutely completely amazingly perfect. of course, i couldn’t even dare to say a word to her. it felt almost as if i wasn’t worthy to say “hi” and then she left before i could find out her name and so now i must always remember her as the girl in the purple t-shirt. oh girl in the purple t-shirt, i wish with all my heart to see your face one more time.
i must say that i have had this experience before. it reminds me of the calvin and hobbes about this subject. hebbes tells calvin that love is when your heartrate speeds up your brain temporarily snaps and you become an incoherent freak spouting psychobabble.
It sounds like you’re ready for love, my friend. Just a fair heads-up… Neither you nor any of those girls are perfect. But when your tangible estimations of her beauty seem a bit too distant, remind yourself that you possess these same intrinsic qualities, being a co-imager-bearer of God. And please excuse the vulgarity (if in fact you find it offensive), but I wanted to give you this brilliant quote from on of my favorite movies of the 90′s – “Good Will Hunting” (1997):
[[Will: [about Skylar] Don’t worry about me, I know what I’m doin’. Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s different from most of the girls I’ve been with.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she’s not that smart, that she’s fuckin’ boring? Y’know? I mean…this girl is like fuckin’ perfect right now, I don’t wanna ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you’re perfect right now. Maybe you don’t wanna ruin that. I think that’s a super philosophy, Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody…My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. [they laugh] Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like “oh was that you?” I’d say yeah…I didn’t have the heart to tell her…Oh God…
Will: [laughing hysterically] She woke herself up?
Sean: Yes!…. Oh Christ….aahhh, but, Will, she’s been dead two years and that’s the shit I remember. [Will stops laughing] Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That’s what made her my wife. Oh and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they’re not, aw that’s the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you’re findin’ out that one is by givin’ it a shot. You certainly won’t learn from an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell a pissant like you.
Will: Why not? You told me every other fuckin’ thing. Jesus Christ. Fuckin’ talk more than any shrink I ever seen in my life.
Sean: I teach this shit, I didn’t say I know how to do it.
Will: Yeah…You ever think about gettin’ remarried?
Sean: My wife’s dead.
Will: Hence the word: remarried.
Sean: She’s dead.
Will: Yeah…Well, I think that’s a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.
Sean: [smiles uncomfortably] Time’s up.]]
Anyway, my advice is to start with your heart. If your heart is leaping for joy at her beauty, start there! Not with a cheese-ball line, but honestly tell her how beautiful she is, and ask if her if a girl like her would get a cup of coffee with a dude like you. If it works, then we get to write (1) song when u get to Dallas, if u lose, then I’m an idiot, plus also I would be forced to write a song for u…lol
Oh, and I’ve written a song inspired by you, and would love to send it your way. What’s the best way of doing that?
I just love it ♥ I don´t know how to explain how i´m feeling right now but i just love your blog and you ♥
“it is my personal opinion that the word “hot” has been weighed down by so many repulsive, disrespectful connotations (all thanks to modern media), that it has ultimately become a rather derogatory adjective with which to describe such pure and blameless beauty. It has a devious way of cheapening it and that tends to bug me.”
Can I please quote you on that??? That was epic.
As was the rest of your blog. ;)
(BTW, I’m from Houston, but I didnt get to go to your show with John Mayer… please come back!!! I want to go to one of your concerts!!!)
Haha, how can you call yourself unromantic after writing that?! Maybe you should carry a business card with a link to this post on it.
That way, next time that happens you can just hand her the card and let the article do the talking ;)
don’t regret.
you wouldn’t meet people for no reason.
If not b’come your special one, then the reason you meet her is for you to write it at your blog and let me read it.
and makes me appreciate what happen to me and him. i used to regret. but after read it, my regret missing half. glad to know him. and glad to let him go.
And glad to read your blog also.
You speak for me, too. Nice to have a name to give this phenomenon. Wish I wouldn’t have to wonder sometimes, but I guess when I’ve finally found the right girl, there’ll be no doubt. It can be a blessing as well as a curse in that regard. But hey, the way I figure it, I only need to get it right once. :)
I always wondered if there were boys who pray for girls like that :)
Thanks for hope
As a male Christ follower, your paragraph on how God’s got your wife down got me doing fist-bumps in my lounge. Very encouraging, thank you.
Here’s an excerpt out of Luther, the film about the German reformer’s life and conversion, where his wife proposes to him and got me as pumped:
*Karen vB*: I know you like me, Doctor.
I feel your heart
when we make music together.
But when the music ends,
you flee.
*Luther*: I’m a man of blood, Katie.
I divide people.
Thousands have died
because of me.
Most days I’m so depressed
I can’t even get out of bed.
People try to make me
a fixed star.
But I’m not.
I’m a wandering planet.
No one should
look to me for guidance.
*Karen vB*: Two things I promise you…
we will make
joyous music together,
and to get to you,
your enemies will have to
step across my dead body.
In return,
I ask only one thing…
that you bring none of them
to our marriage bed,
not peasants or princes or Popes, unless He be a God of love.
Sigh…
I guess you could tell that what’s written in your blog is mutually felt by so many people. Through my entire school career I was always an outcast of sorts and never felt like I was good enough to even speak to someone who was merely good looking or even popular. It was easier just for me to remain non-existant, that way you’d never have to worry about rejection or being hurt.
The older I become, the more I realise that each of us does have someone who is just right for us. All we have to do is, believe. Maybe, just maybe someone would be able to see the beauty that resides in you and would be able to love you for all that you are.
I know this may be a tad forward of me, so I do apologies incase it is. I have always wondered if it isn’t more difficult for you to find true friends/girlfriend now that fame has found you? From only just a few friends to find that the world now loves you because your music has touched them? Is it difficult to sort out the true from the false? You wouldn’t have to reply to me… I just been something that I have always been curious about.
Hmm back to the subject. I hope that one day you find your true Cinderella and that she would truly love and appreciate you for all that you are.
I have this same issue. It’s terrible. Like I’ve thought I’ve had a crush on someone before but every morning I’m proven wrong when he comes into the band room and I’m like “AHH HE’S SO PERFECT!” But I can’t talk to him cause… well I mean I could talk to him but… he.. uh.. yeah… this whole deep regret stuff… yeah that.
i didnt read this all it was too long, your welcome
Thanks for sharing this, as a woman it is nice to know that we aren’t the only ones who long for and pray for our future spouse. The prayer you pray for her was beautiful and I hope that there is a man praying that for me.
Thank you again.
Deep Regret has pwned me many times. I am forever a noob and Deep Regret is the unbeaten warrior.
… oh. freaking. grief.
you write beautifully, and it hurts me. What you say makes me cry- so, thank you. S’pose I needed that.
But what makes you believe you have a Cinderella out there? What if God has something else for you in mind, and Cinderella isn’t in the story after all? The carriage rattles up, and it’s just a pumpkin. Three white mice fall out of the gaping interior, and inside- nothing. Plain old pumpkin, seeds and all. You could probably make a pie out of it if you took the bloody glass shards out. Who walks on glass slippers, after all, without piercing their feet?
Would you still be as hopeful, still be as joyous, still be as true? Waiting may be a place you’re in, but what if you’re waiting for something that might never happen?
of course, this might be entirely inappropriate. You might have found her within the past month. But the question still stands, I think- for the rest of us.
So you know, you sound like possibly the sweetest person I’ve never met.
But just one thing … not every girl is a Cinderella. We’re not all eye-catchingly heart-stoppingly make-guys-stop-and-stare beautiful. We don’t all ooze charm and grace and joy at every moment. Some of us are merely a simple kind of pretty, who are also awkward, who don’t have people staring at us as we walk by. We’re as terrified of talking to an amazing as you are of talking to a Cinderella girl. So just remember that the girl you’re praying for might not be the one who takes your breath away the first time you see her – but she’s still going to be simply amazing and perfect for you.
I don’t know how many guys are shy like that because all the guys I know are jerks.. but I’m definitely in deep regret as I miss someone very much and I wish I told him how I really felt.. You will find your Cinderella and hopefully I’ll find my Prince Charming..
Almost two months later, this is still just as beautiful.
Thank you for sharing what God had placed on your heart, and know that this spectacular piece has brought me much comfort in difficult times. God has given you the gift of words, whether in songs or through your blogs, and I appreciate your thoughts immensely. Although it completely boggles my mind, God always knows what we need, when we need it. I hope and pray that He would comfort you in the difficult times, and give you the peace that makes no sense, regardless of the struggle.
“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24)
note: regardless of what you may think, this was not written by an elderly grandma. just a college student with a grandmother’s name.
Dear Adam,
I think I can, vaguely, relate. (As long as Deep Regret can apply to girls). :) And I may be able to fix it before the regret gets too deep. Anyway, it’s amazing how one of your blogs can make me laugh so hard and the next can bring tears to my eyes. Keep holding out for that Cinderella, and God has funny ways of working things out-for the better. I wish I had someone who could be so devoted to me while barely knowing me, keep on being the beautiful, deeply caring person you are, and know that at least one person has you in her thoughts and prayers.
Love and Best Wishes,
Madeline
wow!! this is absolutely one of the most beautiful pages of the blog that you have written. Deep Regret is something that afflicts the most part of girls and boys in the world and you chose the best words to describe it.
I really hope you’ll find your Cinderella one day,because I’m totally conveinced that there is someone for everyone in the world. I’m sure you’ll find the One :)))
Thank you for the emotions you always give me with your songs and your words :D
Why can’t all guys say stuff like this? It makes me feel pretty.
I read yesterday in the Bible how women shouldn’t make themselves beautiful with pearls and jewelery… but rather an inner glow… an attractiveness that comes from God (the most attractive being in existence) who lives and shines inside them. Just a thought for all of us girls who seem to be invisible but hold on to the hope that we are, actually, pretty.
As for the word ‘hot’, I wish it wasn’t used in that way.
In all my life, I have only met one guy who would call me pretty or beautiful, instead of hot, even though i recognized that inability to speak to me he had, and we never dated or anything. Still, it’s a beautiful thing to be treated that way.
I know I wrote a lot… but let’s just say I don’t have the gift of using words well (like Adam here), and it takes a lot for me to say what i mean :P
Ummm, she’s seventeen AND YOU KNOW THAT. You two were tweeting each other. Not a group of girls in their early-mid twenties. DEFINITELY 16-17 year old Juniors and seniors in high school. You wrote this blog AFTER you guys were tweeting and when it was posted on Thedirty.com and progressed to the rest of the world-wide web. Don’t try and make your perverted mind seem sweet and romantic, because, and sorry to break it to ya, Southern Girls are Southern Beauties, and we DO look older than we are. Caitlyn IS a beautiful girl, but that doesn’t make her legal.. And I don’t want to hear that “seventeen is legal in Texas” bs, because she’s still WAY young compared to you, and I think she may have actually been sixteen at the time of the concert. My advice to you? Stick with girls closer to your own age; eighteen would STILL be too young for you. Mid-late twenties with a personality that isn’t so air-heady would fit your age range AND intelligence level… Southern girls are beautiful, but unfortunately, are not all equipped with a decent brain… Many Texan and Southern Belles are used to getting what they want based on their looks, charm, and what mommy and daddy spoil them with… Just like the girl in this story, in this case… I know of this girl in real life-I’m not just making this up based on stereotypes, me being a Southern Girl as well… Difference is, some of us actually WORK HARD for what we get and want. These beautiful girls that get attention from a B-list celebrity are OF COURSE going to be smitten, especially if they’re in high school! They are going to use you for your fame and money, and then toss you to the side once they get what they want.
Good day, sir.
<3
Warrior-Poet Manhood =]
I find myself utterly glad to be reading your blog, everytime I do I get a glimpse of your life that makes me feel like I got to know you, just a bit, but it´s quite lovely.
The greatest thing to find about you is you´re not like other men,
you wouldn´t just call a woman “hot” and that´s one big deal for me, it´s such a quality that keeps me following you, not just listening to your music, but being your fan.
P.S I never ´fall in love´ with artists, or pretend I´ll marry them sometime.. but if I were Cinderella I’d keep my eyes more open, cause you’d make the best Prince
P.S. YES I have TWITTER if you wanted to FOLLOW ME or just READ the stuff coming out of my mind
Hi Adam
I am thinking you will have no problem finding a cinderella given the number of femail responces to this blog, LOL.
But seriously I do not agree with this deep regret thing, lovely looking girls make your day, make you feel alive, just knowing they are around is a source of great happiness, not regret. I always imagine a better one is just around the corner….
Keep making the music Adam…. its great
I wish there were more Adam Youngs out there.. I love getting to see inside your mind and hearing what you have to say. You’re honest.
Everything you say, you say it with meaning..from the heart.
Don’t ever lose hope about your “Cinderella”. HE knows who and where she is. Remember, love is patient, love is kind. :)
And for a lot of the girls who have posted before me..thank you. You said things that made me smile :)
<3
Brittney
All I can say is I was touched by your sincere love for this girl. I litterally got tears in my eyes when you said you were praying for your cinderella. :’) You have a beautiful heart, Adam.
I’ve only today seen your blog, even though I’ve been a fan of your music for a while. I love the silly and weird things you post here. You describe things in great detail too which makes them twice as funny. :) God Bless and keep making beautiful music! :D
,Elizabeth
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa Adam, how pity >>>>>>>>”"”"<<<<<<<<<<:P, ’cause she’s gone and has no idea about the guy called Adam Young who writes this note.
haizzz haizzz :((
When your Cinderella meets you, she is a lucky girl – I haven’t heard of any other guy who is as sincere, honest, creative and unafraid to express himself as you are.
<3
I hope you find her, Adam, because what stronger bond is there in life than love?
At the risk of sounding overly sentimental, I was touched by your words. I’ve been keeping a book of prayers for my own “Prince Charming” for years – but have felt so much discouragment over the whole thing recently, that I’d almost decided to give it up. In a world where thoughts of spirituality and commitment are easily tossed aside, I’ve always worried that my prayers would be in vain – or at the very least, unappreciated. Not to say that your blog inspired in me a dramatic turnaround of my skepticism. But it was a nice reminder that even if my commitment to a Prince Charming I’ve never met may qualify me as a fool in the eyes of some – after reading this blog and all the accompaning comments, at least I know I’m in good company. :)
It seems like you’ve touched many hearts with this particular entry, Adam. I don’t know you – but I do know you have a gift. Please keep writing!
You are truly amazing. So engaging, so real , so beautiful, that you truly give me hope. I wish you only the best. – A Great Admirer
i love it how this ‘Deep Regret’ thing doesnt seem to just be a rabid, sexual type of attraction…i really admire that :)
Hi Adam! Awesome blog you have! Btw,I’d like to ask for permission to reblog a few contents from this post..is that alright? =)
God bless.
OOHHH!!! You are the SWEETEST THING!!!!!! How do you NOT have a girl?! well our Saviour, Christ Jesus The Long-sufferer WILL bring her. there is not a doubt in my mind! God deffinetely has a plan. For you, and every1 else. Let us never forget that everything happens for a reason. I LIVE YOU SOOO MUCH! never lose ur hope and faith. I shal;l keep u in my prayers.
Blessed be and hope to meet you one day! <3
<3
I loved reading this.
You, Adam, are proof that there are good guys out there that have their hearts in the right place. The part where you said “She is out there… I pray for her constantly. May God satisfy the desires of her heart, draw her close, consume her… claim her passions… her hopes, her strengths and weaknesses… May she treasure and cherish her Savior more than anything of this world… By all that she is, does, and strives to be, may He draw near to her and she to Him…” I was totally screaming amen in my head. That’s exactly the prayer I have for my not-yet-met husband-to-be. ;) My mysterious “Prince,” if you will. I can only hope that he will have had the same thoughts as you, and will be waiting for me with a ready and willing pure heart.
Please say you’re talking about Taylor.
Oh, I’m late and I’m sure you’ll never read this but if perchance you do.
I bet your folks just beam and say “that’s my son”. As a mom I think, “Yes, it’s good to know there are still Godly young men out there”
Now be a good chap and teach the younger generation so my girls have a better chance to meet a Godly young man someday. (when their 30! -grin)
Of course if you get really desperate I’m sure you’ve heard of Moody BI
Place of the Mr and Mrs degrees, haha. (I know many who have gotten married there!)
awwwwwwwwww, its just so cute. Thank you for putting your oponion on the word “hot” out there.
You’ll find your Cinderella someday.
Lots of love,
Tristan
Trust me, there is a sort of Deep Regret within me, but it’s more for someone that I already know and only occasionally get to talk to, and when I do see him, I get too nervous to talk to him. If I can get the conversation going, I’m fine, but it’s that moment of drawing his attention to you. THAT’S when I freeze up. And do I ever wish that this disease would infect someone else, although I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Your sister in Christ,
Mary
Awwww!
That was so sweet!!
You just gave me hope that there really are decent guys out there.
I love your blogs and your songs! They make me smile.
Vanessa
Adam,
I feel the need to let you know what I’m about to say, I really hope you read this. I am in so much unbelief about your willingness to share your heart about this to the world. So thank you so much..:) I showed a friend of mine this blog, and in the end she was suprized that a guy thought like this. I am def. not saying that your the only man out their who feels the way you do.I’m sure their are others, your just more upfront about it. which is awesome! We need people to be more like that. :)
One thing that might help you out about woman, since the fact
I am one myself is, were just as oblivious as Guys are. We feel the
same way when we find a really attractive guy walking down the street, so we meet at the same ground’s when it comes to that. For me it’s not just the apperance of a guy, Its his HEART!
His ability to be comfortable in his own skin and cofident in the Love that God freely gives is mind blowing to some pretty cute girl who maybe watching from a distance. I’m not saying this to make you feel like, “Oh my God, people are watching, I better be extra careful. A guy who truly understands God’s love for him will not think thought’s like that, he will be cofident, which will be like a glowing shine from within him. If whenever Cinderella approaches you, their should be no need to ever think about Deep Regret approaching, because in a moment like that, it just can’t exist. Only God’s pure love radiating through your being. The Girl should only feel that because in your ability to be cofident set’s the atmosphere.She will be attracted to the light that God has put in you. In the end I guess it result’s to trusting the one within us to do that work. If we allow it, it will be. That’s God’s promise to us.I don’t see why you would have that problem because you are a awesome, inspireing, enchanting and whatever words that can go in those category’s. I could go on and on, because it’s the truth. God has someone for you that will knock you off your feet. She will be everything and more that you will have ever thought to ask for. You are Fearfully and wonderfully made. No need to worry because the hands that hold the world are holding your heart.
Trust in the light. May it guide you always…
That is the most amazing thing ever <3. You are fantastic! You are my idol and may God keep you this wonderful forever! :D
oh my gosh…deep regret is the worst! but to quote one of your songs, “when violet eyes get brighter and heavy wings grow lighter, i’ll taste the sky and feel alive again…”
-summer
Nice post, Adam. Now I believe this is about Taylor ;-) Heard your cover version of Enchanted, btw. Your Valentine’s Day message for her is so sweet. I think you and her would be adorable together.
act “swiftly.” very clever, sir. way to conquer your regret. you two deserve each other. thank you for keeping romance alive. God bless. <3
I prayed for my prince… and he prayed for me. It was absolutely beyond my wildest imagination when we finally met. I love your story. It reminds me so much of my own with my now husband.
This is SO about Tyalor Swift. if not though, i think its so awesome you pray for your future Cinderella :) I pray for my future husband too!
Swifty.. nice ;)
OMG OMG OMG Adam were you talking about Taylor here???? Awwwwwww
Swiftly? I hope you show this to her one day, it’s beautiful…
You will make your Cinderella feel incredibly loved one day. Keep holding out to the suspenseful, unknown truth that you will find her. And God will bless you for honoring and cherishing her before you even knee her. Thank you for giving me an assurance that guys like you truly do exist. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Yes, this is definitely about Taylor Swift! I’m touched by your prayer for her! I have been praying for her. Now I’ll pray for you, too. I hope God will use both of you to make positive impact in this generation! God bless you and Taylor! Swift & Young! Young & Swift!!!
You will find that beautiful woman one day :) I know that any girl with a brain or heart would fall at your feet if they got to know you! You are just what I wish guys all around the world were like. Your values are right and your so sweet and your writing is gorgeous. I myself want to be a writer, I am a teenager but I want you to know that whenever I am working on my stories or poems, I listen to your music. It is so inspiring that I cannot help but listen to it and either cry of joy or peace or just float away on a fluffy cloud. I love you Adam, you are my picture perfect man! Haha please go clone yourself for all the girls in the world!
I think it’s wonderful that you’re sharing your experiences and thoughts with the rest of the world. Please don’t stop and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Adam, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read this. Sometimes I’ll completely look at one sentence for a span of thirty minutes.
You have no clue how well you describe every situation I’ve found myself in.
You’re not alone.
I love you.
All I regeret is that talor swift isent hot any more <==3
Ahh! I’ve been struggling with this so much. The only problem is, I’ve met him, talked to him, everything. And I just know I sounded like an idiot. The night I met him we played a game together, and everytime I looked at him he made my heart stop. I went to bed that night and cried. Now he is dating someone, and I haven’t seen him for several months but my heart still stops whenever something reminds me of him. Why does life have to be so complicated? I want my Prince Charming to stop my heart, but I’m so afraid I won’t ever meet another guy like him. *sigh* Thanks for posting this. You probably won’t ever read my comment, but what you wrote put into words perfectly what this girl is feeling right now. And I am so glad to know that there are others out there who are praying for their future Cinderellas and Prince Charmings as well. Sorry for such a long comment.
Dearest Adam,
First, I have to tell you that your writing is so lovely. I’ve never been so captivated!
Secondly, I wish to say that I only dream that there were lots and lots of people like you. Your strength shines and that is an attribute that is hard to find these days.
I know you will find that girl. She’ll be terribly lucky to have you! :)
Just one simple, yet devoted fan among many,
Shanley
Everybody has had this kind of experience, me included. It;s so sweet. You deserve the best woman in the world and whoever that woman is, she is the luckiest woman in the world.
Sounds like the theme song for “Deep Regret” is if we ever meet again by timbaland JS
It’s so refreshing to read this from a guy! I pray for my perfect guy and write to him, and sometimes I feel like it’s a waste, like he’s not going to live up to my expectations and there’s no possible way he’s praying for me. But this is encouraging
You’ll find her :)
God Bless you!
what happen to taylor swift???
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Nice… I loved this post… blog thing! You’re amazing adam!
You will find your Cinderella someday! God will let you know who she is just wait and be patient and enjoy life. :) I really can’t wait to see you in Seattle!!! I wonder if you will be accepting fan mail…. I have something for you… <3
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was one of the most utterly adorable things I have ever read:) You’re so sweet! I wish every guy thought like you..you’re a rare dude Mr. Adam. And you are extreemly talented. I adore you. (and i mean this in a non-stalker creepy person way :p)
This blog post was very sweet and beautiful.
I have never been in love (for I am not even in high school yet) but when years pass and Deep Regret strikes, I am sure I will know exactly what it is and I am sure I will think of you and this blog post! :) You inspire me so greatly Adam. Thank You!
you, more than anyone, deserve your Cinderella
Adam,
Rest assured, because Dreams Don’t Turn To Dust.
Keep up the great(and by great I mean way beyond super fantastically wonderful) work. All my love,
Taylor
Dear Adam,
I just wanted to tell you of how much of an inspiration you have been in my life. Your songs have always made me feel better. When i’m having a bad day, i’ll just play a song of yours and it instantly puts a smile on my face. I also love reading your blogs, they’re all so very uplifting. You have no idea of how much i look up to you. You’re an amazing role model and such a great person to look up to. I wish my faith was as strong as yours, you’re just so open about it and not afraid to make a difference in the world.
You also give me so much hope in knowing that there still might be a few of those rare and special guys out there like you who are sensitive, a gentleman, a sweetheart, not afraid to share his faith, and just knows how to treat a girl.
It also hurts me because i’m afraid that you’re the only guy out there of your kind. I’m afraid I won’t ever find anyone out there like you, and honestly, you’re everything i’ve ever hoped and prayed for in a guy.
I won’t give up hope though. My prince charming is out there somewhere and in time God will reveal him to me. It may take a while, but if he’s as amazing as you, i’m willing to wait. May God help you in everything you do and everything you will accomplish. May he keep you safe from the lies of this world and don’t let the fame and popularity get in your head. Always stay the Adam we know and love. God has big plans for you and it looks like he already got a head start.
May God satisfy the desires of your heart, draw you close, consume you. May He claim your passions, your identity, your refuge, your hopes, your strengths and weaknesses, every fiber of your being. May you treasure and cherish your Savior more than anything of this world and cling to His will with every ounce of your stamina. By all that you are, do, and strive to be, may He draw near to you and you to Him.
I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with you. I hope when you read this or if you ever do, that it will put the biggest smile on your face. God bless you Adam in everything that you are and stand for. I hope to see another concert of yours again! Actually, my friend and I promised to see every Owl City concert that comes to Nashville. Your shows are always phenomenal!
Much love,
from your biggest fan in Tennessee! :D
I pray that my Prince Charming is something a lot like you. You seem to hold every aspect of a human being that balances me out(: Living in Southern California lives up to the stereotype of crude teenagers who don’t understand true love comes through Christ, and I hope with all my heart that the woman you pray for is set apart by God in His glory. I pray every day that my God would give me a man that is something a lot like you, even though I’ve already said that (:
A simple California Girl,
Celest
Adam, your eloquence and love of God boggles my mind. You have a beautiful soul. The world needs more people like you.
What would most people do without the wonderful thoughts you reveal on this site? Who has the fortitude to deal with vital topics just for common subscribers like me? I actually and my girlfriends are very lucky to have your site among the types we frequently visit. Hopefully you know how considerably we value your effort! Best wishes coming from us all.
Random Google results can sometimes lead to great blogs like this. You are doing a good job, and we share plenty of ideas.
I feel EXACTLY the same way about the word hot when used to describe someone. I hate it. You put it into words much better than I did, though.
I am so glad that you pray for your future Cinderella. I pray for my future prince, but sometimes I’m worried. I’ve heard that some people are never intended to get married. But I really want to. I feel, deep inside, that I am meant to be with someone. I guess all I can do is trust that God has someone ready for me. I hope he is a lot like you.
Adam, reading this gave me hope tonight for my future at a timely moment. Thanks. :) I know God led me to your blog tonight, I needed to read this. Your purity and innocence are so rare and encouraging. Keep being yourself. I heard your cover of “In Christ Alone” today and it really touched me. You are being prayed for, keep standing on the strength of your identity in Christ and you can do anything.
That was beautiful. I can see how you write your songs. That is one lucky Cinderella. The way you talk about purity, and innocence…you are so much better than so many other guys out there, Adam. Never change the way you are <3
Love You Adam!
I agree with what the person above was saying. She’s a very lucky, gal. Keep doing what you’re doing, Adam!
Wow, I hope some guy out there is praying for me and has such a tender heart as you. I literally started to cry and I’m still in tears. Wow. You are one amazing person and the girl you meet will be wonderful and it will be perfect. When you get married I will be smiling and thinking back to this blog post.
Clearly deep regret is deeply atachd 2 me he refuses to let go.tha moments i hav had-sigh-wen they say beauty lies in the beholder yet the beholder mirrors nothingnes,bang!there goes deep regret.but my hopes wil neva die.a second deeper luk may come my way
Blasphemy! Hahah Simply just kidding around. You will find read related things on some other sites. I’ll bring your text for this. Be strong! the buddy.
Aaaww! Adam, that’s so sweet! I totally agree with Christiana. I hope my prince charming prays for me the way you do for your Cinderella. One day, you’ll find her. And she will literally be the luckiest woman alive <3 Don't give up hope!
I just wanted to say, Adam, that I admire you in every way possible and that I have never seen a celebrity who says they’re a Christian and actually lives it. You are a rare human being and the woman who gets to spend the rest of her life with you will truly be blessed by God. I know how hard it is to wait because you just love the person you will marry so much already. But God’s timing is perfect and I often have to remind myself of that, too. You are very inspirational to me. Thanks.
<3 Emmy
HEY ADAM, YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER READ THIS AND I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE IT’S COOL
YOU AS A PERSON HAS BEEN AN INSPIRATION TO ME. I HAVE CHRONIC INSOMNIA, AND WHEN I FIRST REALIZED IT I WENT INTO DEPRESSION, YOU AND YOUR MUSIC GOT ME THRUGH IT, TO THIS DAY I AM STILL TAUNTED WITH THE INABILITY TO SLEEP. AS I BEGAN STUDYING YOU, AND HOW YOU GOT STARTED I FOUND MYSELF DOING TO ONE THING I LOVE, WRITING, AND I DO MY BEST WRITING WHEN I CAN’T SLEEP. AT FIRST THIS WAS QUIET DISAPPOINTING BECAUSE I WOULD TRY SO HARD TO SLEE AND FIGHT THE URGE TO WRITE. NOW I SIMPLY BREAK OUT MY LAPLOP, PLUG IN MY HEADPHONES AND DO MY BEST NOT TO WAKE THE ENTIRE HOUSE BY SINGING TO THE LYRICS. WHEN I STARTED READING ON YOU I FOUND YOU HAVE HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES. MY FRIENDS AND I WOULD JOKE THTA ON THE SCHOOL FORMS AND STUFF IT WOULD ASK “WHEN ARE YOU MOST ALERT?” AND I WOULD PUT 4;00 A.M..
SO I HAVE OFFICALLY TOLD YOU HOW YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME, WHETHER YOU READ IT OR NOT? I DON’T KNOW.
LYDIA D. * * O
* *
i efforts for amex and honey when you go under these pograms they’re just fighting with us to reduce youre apr so we say if we do this we will close youre accounts manually and automatic the direction poeple dont near it its as much as us and we will near them in your case and it can ruin youre credit cause it can say “closed by grabntor” rather than closed by shopper please mark this best
What a fantastic article, can you make it so I get an alert email when you write a fresh post?
I extremely enjoy your material, nice work, Congrats.
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This is my first time blogging but adam your songs are coolest and I know you will find your Cinderella were ever she is and you two will be very happy
I would also like to say that my favorite song is dream’s don’t turn to dust and you are so right
Adam, I have never been one to follow celebrities. But I have to say, your music, blogs, and faith inspire me. I am in ministry school, far from home and feeling homesick regularly. Your perspective of life, and your observations of God’s creation has given me a new outlook. I’ve learned to enjoy the beautiful simplicity in life, admire pure innocent romance, and this has all been achieved by a grace attached to your music. God has used you to change my life, you’ve been a blessing. I’d love to meet you one day, but only God knows. Thank you.
Thank you a ton Adam. I totally know this feeling, the lying awake wishing you would have talked to her, asked her to dance, anything but what you had done. Also, thank for putting the word hot into such a good frame there. I feel the same way. Using it really seems like undervaluing a girl for who she really is. Cheers.
Dear Adam,
I just wanted to let you know how much this blog meant to me. I am definitely a hopeless romantic. I have always dreamed about my future husband. I wonder who he is, what his name is, where he grew up, what his favorite ice cream flavor is……everything I can possibly learn about him. I pray for him tirelessly, that he will be drawn close to God and live always for Him, holding nothing back. To think that maybe he is out there praying for me just like you do for your future wife is amazing. I want to thank you for being such an encouragement to me. I find it so hard wait patiently for my future husband but you always seem to help me refocus on what is important. I hope you meet Cinderella someday soon and live happily ever after.
Love,
Cheyenne
P.S. You are a phenomenal writer. Your blogs are beautifully written, funny, entertaining, and all-around awesome! You are an inspiration to me, a hope-to-be-a-writer-someday, and I can’t get enough of your stories. Thanks for sharing them with me. :)
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Adam,
Not sure whether you check comments on old blogs, but your story was quite moving. Actually it bothered me all day in a sense, because it took me a long time to get “over the thresold” in any way. It’s like getting comfortable with Warp 8 when there is Warp 9. Phew. :)
I have a blog, and I wrote one entry of a similar subject, if you are curious/free, please visit. http://bluewhaleisland.blogspot.com/2011/12/wavelength.html
Thanks for sharing, love your work!
Cheers,
Juliann
Hi Adam. I know I’m one out of thousands, but if you have time, please listen to my story:
It was yesterday, at the ice skating rink. He works there; a boy around 17 or 18. Maybe 16, I don’t know. He was wearing sunglasses, even though it was completely cloudy, but that’s what the boy workers wore. Sunglasses and matching athletic jackets.
I can’t even begin to tell you how beautiful he was. Well, ‘beautiful’ is kind of stretching it. He was attractive, though I couldn’t see what was under his sunglasses, but him on the ice: wow. The moment we pulled up in front of the ice rink in the limo (I was at a sweet 16 party), I saw him, gazing out at us. I felt myself gulp and just–stare. Wondering what he was thinking, hoping that somehow, he could see through the impenetrable darkness and see, well, me.
I couldn’t concentrate well the entire 2-3 hours we were there. Every time I went around the rink, my eyes would wander, catching a glimpse of his blue sunglasses or his red hair, his pale skin. At first it wasn’t so bad, since my mind was preoccupied with not falling (and I did–twice) but after a while, when I could release the tension in my stiff limbs, I grew a bit self-conscious. I felt envious of my friends who were so graceful and beguiling on the ice, matching his smooth, fluid dance easily. I have a feeling he was a hockey player though, not an ice skater, so maybe I’m just making mountains out of molehills, but…
I still can’t forget him that easily. The way he looked, so brooding as he gazed impassively over the rink, his occasional smile, his easy conversation with the nearby security guard, his gentle hands helping up the fallen children–not laughing at them, not demeaning them. Of course, he should’ve been used to it by now, but still…Secretly, I wished he’d helped me up when I fell.
I wasn’t the only one who thought him “cute”, but I’m sure I was the only one who fell for him that deeply. I wonder about his life story, his name, his personality, what makes him laugh, what makes him cry. Then I see my reflection in the water and sigh: an obnoxious little chit of a girl with braces and two left feet on ice. His eyes would be drawn to my pretty, graceful friend rather than the clumsy weirdo in the corner.
It makes me sad that at the end, I never got up the courage to ask for his name. It makes me angry that I devote my thoughts, my dreams, my sleep about this one boy whose name I don’t even know. I’m frustrated with myself, with my incompetence, with my features, my personality, my everything.
I felt so drained yesterday as I came back home. I wish I could say something dramatic like “I crawled into bed and cried” but I just sat there, wondering. Wondering what would have happened if I could have just jumped for my chance when I saw it. Wondering what would have happened if I did. Wondering if I would meet him again. Wondering if it was too late to change my goodbye.
It was my first time experiencing Deep Regret, and I completely, wholly, absolutely hate it, because I fell in love, and at the moment, I can’t get back up.
Conclusion: forget water, we need God to rain some good men down for all of us.
Thank you for writing this article. It sums up my feelings (though maybe not to the intensity I’m feeling at the moment) and I just…really needed to unload my burden. And hopefully drown my sorrows in some good old chocolate.
Adam,
I told myself I wouldn’t make a comment yet again with the full knowledge that it probably won’t be read–I always do–but here I go anyway.
I must say, I have never felt Deep Regret within a fleeting moment; it always comes to me during deep reflection on the past, however I fondly refer to them as What If moments. What If I had been more outgoing? What If I had tried to talk to him? But the past is the past, life goes on….
I’m desperate for a partner to share my life with–my joyous moments, my commonplace moments, my sorrowful moments. And each time I imagine things such as this, my mind turns to the pessimistic and I am thrown into despair. It’s during times like these that I rely upon God to be my strength.
Having stumbled across your blog by accident, I find that I can’t stop reading. Your thoughts, feelings, and emotions leap off of my screen and surround me with encouragement. I continually thank God that He has given you the talents you now possess and that He has led me to your music.
For now, I want to strive to be the person God wants me to be. Until then, I hope we can meet someday (preferably not just in eternity). Because we all have those What If moments. You’re not alone.
~Allison
Thank you for restoring some of my vanished hope for mankind, Adam Young.
This is absolutely beautiful. Your words are a true heart lifting, mind blowing inspiration. Thank you.
Adam you’re an amazing person, more guys needs to be like you. I love how all your thoughts are clean and pure. Im sure you will find your Cinderella soon, I know it! You are one of a kind and always stay that way.
With Love,
one of your many fans :)
Your website was recommended by a friend of mine who is a huge fan of Owl City. I really love your writing. The way you write is seems very natural. The words flow very nicely. I love reading it! Keep on writing, your fan base will grow immensely due to your ideas of “hot” and “beautiful.” Stay true!
[...] something I believe in called Deep Regret. It’s kind of like a disease–or maybe a jinx or [...]
Never give up! Never settle for less!